Thursday, January 31, 2008

The strongest woman I know...

Mimi and Will
from Mimi...
"So, after living all this, HOW can we survive and stay sane as grieving parents?
How can we make thru an hour, never mind a day without feeling the excruciating pain of not having our baby to hold?
Because you can’t just set everything aside, or try to forget and go on with your life. I don’t mean forget about your child, I mean about the pain, the endless longing for a kiss . Everything, I mean EVERYTHING around you reminds you of his absence.
Well, how about this, how about, instead of seeing his absence in everything, YOU decide to see his presence. What if everything around you brings back his presence? What if instead of crying when you see a stuffed animal, his favorite show on TV, his blanket, the smell of his lotion, his world, what if you smiled instead?
What if instead of trying to put away his things all in one safe place, so you don’t always have to see them and be sad, you just hang pictures of his sweet face everywhere, let his little brother wear his clothes, play with his toys, ride his bike, and for his big brothers make sure you turn on the TV and show movies of them all playing together.
I believe it will make a difference in our grieving process and in order to keep his memory alive. Keep him close to your heart and close to your eyes… And yes, there are and will be times where it gets to be too much, the pain too deep and the emptiness too great.
I know my bathroom floor won't ever be lonely. I know my boys will have melt downs and me with them, it is hard to comfort them when you are broken yourself, but it helps for them to see you crying, too. I know one of my hands will feel empty and stay in my pocket for many more years. I know that William won’t ever truly remember Julian (up to us to give him memories).
And I also know that thru those time, I won't ever be alone. I know that He will always be there to pick me up from my floor, I know He will always wrap His arms around my boys when they are sad, I know that He will give me strength to comfort the boys, I know that He will take my hand when I miss my lil’ man, and I know He will guide us to make sure Julian is never forgotten…
The promise of God’s presence thru good and bad times is what keeps me going… I couldn’t even imagine going thru such horror as a non believer. God has been, is and will always be my rock and my strength thru the struggles and the fun times…And I am so blessed for that….
And remember, never forget to kiss your children goodnight, even if they are asleep, they know…. Mimi"
Mimi,Ken and the Boys 111 Aviator Dr.
Fort Worth,Tx 76179

20 comments:

Theresa said...

So many people sleepwalk through life, not feeling, not caring. Mimi has woke a lot of people up. I can say that I am a better woman, mother, person thanks to her. No words can mend her broken heart. Jesus will in time. Until then...well the prayers will never stop.

SWATCOP said...

It couldn't be said any better and how can we even say anything? Only God can carry someone through something like this. He WAS, IS, and always WILL be our strength, especially in times like this. I continue to pray for you Mimi. I also do alot more kissing, hugging, and loving of my two little guys. Thank you for your witness and for sharing Julian with us. We won't forget him.

Keep me crying Kemper!!!

Deb in OPKS said...

That was simply beautiful.

Too Little Time said...

How beautiful! What an awesome way to shoulder your grief. Truely a representation of Gods Love. I am awed, humbeled and honored to see such strength of spirit and character. Thank you for sharing. Karrie

Julie said...

Wow, that was awesome. She's one tough mama.

OHmommy said...

Beautiful.

Simply beautiful.

Do they really know we are kissing them when they are sleeping? I love that thought. I do.

I find myself, admist the chaos at home with three kids, walking around saying "Its in Gods hands now." And now. And now the kiddos are saying the same thing.

Dawn said...

I remember when she first posted the pic of the boys walking away without Julian and it killed me then. It still breaks my heart now. :*(

Heather said...

Michelle, can you email me Mimi's email address? I want to make sure she's rec'd the pendants. Thanks Heather

Beth said...

After I "found" your site and read about JuJu, I subscribed to Mimi's carepage - I am astounded every time I read her posts. She is amazingly strong. Wish there was something we could do to help her - they are all in our prayers!
~Beth~

Grandmother Goddess of the Garden said...

Mimi is incredible...she has taught so very much to so very many. As are you Michelle. Thanks for being so supportive.

nomi said...

Mimi IS incredible. I'm still thankful that I stumbled on your blog and found her and Julian. They have both changed my life. I just wish I could do for her what she's done for me. And I wish I could take away her pain :-(

Andrea said...

Wow...I've never heard of Mimi before...but wow. That post made me CRY!!!!

Heather said...

Girlie, if you haven't checked out Confessions of a CF Husband today to see the video of Gwynie and the song by Matthew West go grab your kleenex NOW and go there and watch it.

Heather

Tracy said...

I am in such awe of her and the fact that she could write something so profound so soon. I'm glad you posted this because I've been worrying and wondering how she was doing.
Thank you.

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