Mimi and Will from Mimi...
"So, after living all this, HOW can we survive and stay sane as grieving parents?
How can we make thru an hour, never mind a day without feeling the excruciating pain of not having our baby to hold?
Because you can’t just set everything aside, or try to forget and go on with your life. I don’t mean forget about your child, I mean about the pain, the endless longing for a kiss . Everything, I mean EVERYTHING around you reminds you of his absence.
Well, how about this, how about, instead of seeing his absence in everything, YOU decide to see his presence. What if everything around you brings back his presence? What if instead of crying when you see a stuffed animal, his favorite show on TV, his blanket, the smell of his lotion, his world, what if you smiled instead?
What if instead of trying to put away his things all in one safe place, so you don’t always have to see them and be sad, you just hang pictures of his sweet face everywhere, let his little brother wear his clothes, play with his toys, ride his bike, and for his big brothers make sure you turn on the TV and show movies of them all playing together.
I believe it will make a difference in our grieving process and in order to keep his memory alive. Keep him close to your heart and close to your eyes… And yes, there are and will be times where it gets to be too much, the pain too deep and the emptiness too great.
I know my bathroom floor won't ever be lonely. I know my boys will have melt downs and me with them, it is hard to comfort them when you are broken yourself, but it helps for them to see you crying, too. I know one of my hands will feel empty and stay in my pocket for many more years. I know that William won’t ever truly remember Julian (up to us to give him memories).
And I also know that thru those time, I won't ever be alone. I know that He will always be there to pick me up from my floor, I know He will always wrap His arms around my boys when they are sad, I know that He will give me strength to comfort the boys, I know that He will take my hand when I miss my lil’ man, and I know He will guide us to make sure Julian is never forgotten…
The promise of God’s presence thru good and bad times is what keeps me going… I couldn’t even imagine going thru such horror as a non believer. God has been, is and will always be my rock and my strength thru the struggles and the fun times…And I am so blessed for that….
And remember, never forget to kiss your children goodnight, even if they are asleep, they know…. Mimi"
Mimi,Ken and the Boys 111 Aviator Dr.
Fort Worth,Tx 76179