Monday, August 31, 2009

My Back-to-School Resolutions...

I don't know about you, but when the school bus pulls away that first day of school, although I am sad to see the kids go back, I often liken it to New Year's Day.

Today 2/3 of my brood left on that big yellow bus. Tomorrow the last 1/3 heads off, too.

It's a new chapter. A time for goals to reset (or be thrown under the bus). And I finally find myself re-connecting with ME!

"Well, hello there!"

"Hey. Wow. It's been a long time."

"Yeah. So, how are you?"

"Hangin' in but MAN, you look like DEATH! Did you sleep AT ALL this summer?"


"So, what's your plan of attack today? Where are you going to start? What are you going to clean? Which closet will get organized first?"

"Are you nuts? This is my plan of attack..."

* Drink my coffee while it is still hot!

*Sit still for longer than 3.7 seconds!

*Start a cleaning project and actually FINISH IT!

*Watch finished cleaning project STAY finished for the WHOLE freaking day!

*Use the bathroom ANYTIME I want instead of crossing my legs until naptime!

*Read while using the bathroom...and what I read will not include the words, MONSTER TRUCKS, LIGHTENING McQUEEN or EVERYBODY POOPS!

*Talk on the phone with my feet up instead of making skid marks with my shoes as I chase an uncontrollable child running with scissors around the kitchen and flagrantly saying, "uh huh" and "Ohhh" when I really have no idea WHAT the person on the other end is talking about...who am I kidding, I am usually so distracted once the phone is on my ear, I don't even know WHO is on the other end.

*Take care of myself! This will include morning devotions and some time with God, a long walk (without a trike with a flat tire being dragged behind me) or exercise tape (it will be nice not to kick a small child in the head while doing Tae Bo), eating right and not just stale PB&J crusts and the squishy grapes no one wanted.

It's going to be a good year! I PROMISE MYSELF!

Bus is pulling up. Time to see how their day went! And they get a fully-refreshed, showered, pleasant, relaxed, focussed mom!

What will YOU resolve this school year?


Friday, August 21, 2009

"Your call will be answered in...300 minutes."

...that's 5 HOURS incase you were wondering! Is it really possible that THAT many people call the same place all at the SAME stinkin' time? Really? I don't know, because as I hold the phone with my shoulder trying not to press my cheek into the buttons so hard that I hang up on myself, all the while using both hands to do my mom-stuff around the house...which is sometimes harder than herding cats...I imagine the people sitting in the call center doing their nails, standing at the vending machines chatting, talking on their cell phones, searching FACEBOOK. Maybe I am bitter, but maybe you can answer the DANGED phone before I die of old age! So, then the line clicks...your breathing quickens as the very next sound you hear may just be a human's v ..... NOPE! Recording! "Please clearly state your first name." Michelle. "You said, 'Nickel,' if this is correct, please press 1. If this is not correct, please clearly state your first name after the tone." Multiply this 3 times, but substitute the following words for "Michelle:" pickle, seashell, shoopell. That's when I lose it! I know the automated freak on the other end isn't real but I respond sharply, "Shoopell? Really? Have you ever MET or ever HEARD of someone named Shoopell?!!!!!!!!!!! " "You said, 'Michelle,' if this is correct, please press 1. 1, 1, 1 "I'm sorry, you have pressed an invalid number, please press 1 if your first name is 'Michelle.'" With every ounce of self control, I gently press 1, once! You can't tell me this is more efficient than having an actual HUMAN answer the phone! Then starts the detailed questioning: "Please enter your zip code and then press the pound key." "Please press 1 if you live in Lehigh, Bucks or Montgomery County or 2 if you do not." "Please press 17 if your second toe is longer than your first or 0 if it is not." "Please press 918 if your first boyfriend's name was Greg or type in L-O-S-E-R if you still don't have a first boyfriend." "Please press the following numbers in order, within 3 seconds of the beep ... 34567890987654312347890098765." 3 2 1 BEEP! "Please hang up and place your call again. Thank you and have a nice day!" Why?? Why?? I seriously was just looking for a pediatric dentist that takes our insurance! Is that too much to ask? And I am still grumbling about all the FACEBOOK-ing and manicures that got done while I was trying not to drop my phone in the toilet as I cleaned and punched in numbers. Grr!! Peace.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Texts to my husband...

Throughout the day when things go awry, I often think of my husband sitting in his comfy chair, in his quiet office as he jokes with a colleague.

I feel jealous some days as he walks leisurely out the door to his car while I am running around with my butt on fire making lunches, picking up friends to play, dropping off over-due library books and standing on my head entertaining 3 booooored kids.

I am often envious of his freedom to have lunch with someone who doesn't throw food or spit milk out his nose.

So, to help him feel involved in my day, I have started texting him. You know, I am sure he is wishing he was home to take in all the pleasures that I deal with each and every day. Maybe he is sitting at his desk wishing he was unshowered and wrestling a preschooler onto the potty seat. Maybe. Or maybe my texts are simply subliminal messages from which he better translate, "If you are one FRIPPIN' minute late getting home someone will be bouncing off the walls and it just may not be ME!"

I choose to keep him informed throughout the day with helps me vent let him know how much I appreciate his hard work and it keeps him up to speed on how many dozen roses to bring home. It also keeps my fingers busy so I still don a headful of hair!

As we have all seen on the have their own texting shorthand, well feel free to grab what you need from this list!


ILU! - I love you!

T4aUdo! - Thanks for all you do!

TaWo.WUWH! - Taking a walk. WISH YOU WERE HERE!

HsfPfLwB! - Had smiley face pancakes for lunch with kids!

WaUCH? - When are you coming home?

G?WitP! - Guess what's in the potty!

SC! - School CALLED!

KHWiurC! - Kids homework - in your car!


KLMiurC! - Kids lunch money in your car!



AUtaMCbaBHoT! - And you talk about MY car being a black hole of trash!

UG! TaSOurK! - Ugh! They are SOOOO your kids!!!

911!PBotFS! - HELP! Peanut butter on the flatscreen!

TBitT! - Toothbrush in the toilet!

IAA2LI! - I am about to lose it!

911!DHRA! - HELP! Diarrhea!

911!DHRA!LD! - HELP! Diarrhea! LAST DIAPER!

CHN! - Come Home NOW!

BW! - Bring WINE!

ItInRx! - I think I need MEDICATION!

IhstTWCH! - I have started to TWITCH!

WAUAMTXT?! - Why aren't you answering my texts?!

IIcmtlabIW! CHN! - If I could make these letters any bigger I WOULD! COME HOME NOW!


Ct10! TiurLC! IudwttdwaDZr,aBPoDaMoWaaFPuwN( )A! - Counting to 10! This is your LAST CHANCE! If you don't walk through that door with a DOZEN roses, a bulk pack of diapers, a magnum of WINE and a FAT PIZZA you will NEVER (fill in blank) AGAIN!

"Honey, I'm home!"

Now, that's more like it!

Thursday, August 13, 2009


There he is! He was featured on Mommy Blogger Monday a few months back and has created a bit of a FAN CLUB for himself! . Now, as if that handsome gaze wasn't enough... He is a cop... He is on the SWAT TEAM... He is a foster/adoptive dad... He is a Christian... AND.....AND.... And now he is riding a BILLION miles on a bike for CANCER! If you have been touched by cancer in some way, please consider supporting Todd on his ride! CLICK HERE TO DONATE TO TODD'S LIVESTRONG RIDE! If you can't donate - PLEASE just pass along this link so others can show their support for this great guy making a difference in the lives of so many touched by the beast we know as CANCER! CANCER SUCKS!

If cancer hadn't stolen them from us, you could ask some of my friends what they think of CANCER:






. John Eric . Cole . Andrew . Max . Katie . Jessica PLEASE HELP! Won't you?!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Guest Blogger ... Kat Sanders on Healthy Kids

How to Keep Your Kids Healthy

When it comes to our children, we want to give them the best we can, and when it comes to their health, nothing can be more important than safeguarding this precious asset. And the best way to do this is to teach them how to look after themselves; right from the time they are able to understand the significance of things. To this end, here’s what we need to do:

· Encourage them to make healthy food choices: We are what we eat, and the more junk we put into our bodies, the more we become like garbage pails. So encourage them to choose healthy food from the time they are able to eat on their own and begin choosing the meals they would like to have. Give them a variety of healthy options and try new foods every day so that they are not bored. If you make eating healthy a regular habit, it will stay with them for life.

· Get them to reduce time spent inactive: If they’re in the habit of slouching on the couch in front of the television or staying holed up in their rooms with their computers, mobile phones or video games, get them to go out and become more active. If the weather is bad, involve them in activities with the entire family at home or give them chores to help you around the house.

· Help them take up a sport: Playing a sport when you’re a child does wonders for your health, both the physical and mental aspects of it. Get your child to sign up for basketball, baseball or any other sport of their choice, and help them in their endeavor by driving them to games and practice sessions and being there in the stands to cheer them on loudly no matter how they perform. Ensure that you instill confidence in them by not insisting that they win – instead, tell them that the way they play the game is all that matters.

· Set an example for them to follow: And finally, your kids are never going to listen to a thing you say if you do the exact opposite when it comes to your health. You must be willing to walk the talk and eat healthy yourself. And this means no fatty and unhealthy snacks, no matter how tempted you are. You also need to keep your weight down with regular exercise and constant activity.

The most valuable asset we own is our health, and by teaching our children how important it is, we are giving them an invaluable inheritance. This article is written by Kat Sanders, who regularly blogs on the topic of radiologist technician at her blog The Overwhelmed Student Blog. She welcomes your comments and questions at her email address:

Thanks, Kat! Nice having ya! Head over to Kat's blog and fill your head with a boat-load of good info!


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I'm a BIG loser!


So, apparently this summer has not been my BEST blogging summer!

I think I posted 3x, BlogHer dropped me temporarily for not posting often enough, I went from about 250 hits a day (which was on the low side for me anyway) to about 30 hits a day, so much has been going on I don't know where to start!

Come back! Come back! Wherever you are!