Sunday, January 6, 2008

"Grow up, Mom"...

They didn't actually say this but they were thinking it...I just know it! My 10 and 9-year old cornered me not too long ago to fill me in on some things. Bring me up to speed. Give me the low-down. Down-low? What? OK, let me ask you, when you are leaving the house for a long car trip and you know your children have a bladder the size of a pee, what do you ask them? "Does anyone have to go potty?" Apparently not anymore in my house. Apparently, my children have had a meeting and decided that the word "potty" should never come out of my mouth again unless I am talking to the baby. My instructions? From now on I am to refer to the potty ,ehem, toilet as the "restroom." Restroom? Really. Seriously. Am I at Starbuck's? Have I hauled their butts into Starbuck's so many times that they are now convinced it is the hoity toity thing to do to say "restroom"? Please. The conversation did not stop there. Let me give you the low-down...down-low? I still don't get it. When your child gets a paper cut and you head upstairs to get a band aid, what do you say when you enter the room of the wounded one? "Here. Let me see your boo boo." Um. No. Not at Chez Brownlow. We are evidently, WAY past the "boo boo" phase. My instructions? I am now to refer to all things that need band aids as "lacerations or abrasions." Now they have medical degrees? Will they soon start saying things like, "OW, Mom, I just stubbed my metatarsus!!" or "When I fell off my bike, I hit my mandible on the handlebars!" ? Oh, it gets better. I'll just cut to the chase. This was the pièce de résistance (big enough word for ya kids? sheesh!) "And when you talk to us about yourself, can you NOT refer to yourself as Mommy? Like when you say things like, 'Mommy will get it' and stuff. Can you just say 'I'?" Really. Really. What do I do with that? ALL of that? When do THEY get to decide for ME what they are too old to hear? Is there an Elementary Caucus I don't know about? Was there a vote? A book of laws referring to ages that you are banned from hearing the words "poopy," "hiney" and you're my "snuggly wuggly buggly"? WHERE'S MY #$%^&*() MAMA CAP? To top it all off, one of my dear friends suggested today that I should be thinking about when and where I want to have "the talk" with my little man big kid. HOLY CHEESE! ARE YOU FRIPPIN' KIDDING ME? Why do they grow up so fast?

18 comments:

Mommy to those Special Ks said...

So this is what I have to look forward to... thanks for the warning! LOL

Christina said...

LOL...My friend Renee(Mommy to those Special K's) showed me this post...I LOVE this post!!!! I look forward to checking out the rest of your blog!

Deb in OPKS said...

Oh, in my house that is just ASKING to be harrassed with these taboo words! My oldest is starting to give me the snub in public. Can't hold her hand anymore :(

Dawn said...

LOL! Oh I would SO be calling after them, as I drop them off to school tomorrow, "Buh-bye Sweetie-pie! Come here and give Mommy a kiss! Muah muah muah! :)

Just-Me-Jen said...

LOL- boy, those kids are harsh!

Although, scary as it is, it really is time to think about having "the talk" with your son... You'd be horrified to know just what some of the middle schoolers I work with already know, or don't know, and are doing!

Tracy said...

I couldn't agree with you more here. I was just thinking this the other day when I asked Caroline if she needed help tying her shoes. She rolled her eyes at me and said "Moooommmmmm, I just turned eight. I think I can handle it from now on. And besides, I think I'm too old to have my Mommy tie my shoes."
Well excuse me missy. I didn't get the frippin memo!

Tracy said...

I couldn't agree with you more here. I was just thinking this the other day when I asked Caroline if she needed help tying her shoes. She rolled her eyes at me and said "Moooommmmmm, I just turned eight. I think I can handle it from now on. And besides, I think I'm too old to have my Mommy tie my shoes."
Well excuse me missy. I didn't get the frippin memo!

Tracey said...

Bwaaahaaaa!!! I am laughing with you, my friend, for I see my future and it ain't pretty... I still have a 2 yr and 5 yr old so I am allowed to use SOME baby words, right?

And have the talk with your son. Better now than later. I know that you probably hate that, but I am of the thinking that sex is ONE issue where they need information BEFORE they have questions...

Grandmother Goddess of the Garden said...

What I'm wondering was did the two of them get together and set the rules for you, or did it just sort of evolve out of something that was happening? Only one of my three went through that and it lasted about a week...she's 25 now and very much her mamas girl! Just stick out your tongue and tell them you can do what you want 'cause you're the mommy! Followed by a big hug. At least you have the baby to cuddle!

Melek said...

how old are they?

Shellie said...

Oh, it happens so fast and there is MORE TO COME! Ignorance is bliss so I won't tell you more.

nickernoodle said...

That is so funny! I haven't reached that stage yet. My daughter still gives me a kiss goodbye in front of her friends before school and Cooper still loves to "nuggle" with me before bed. They are just 7 and 3 but soon they will be too cool for me.

Patty said...

ROFLMAO because we have had this happen at our house, and then a few months later I found out I was pregnant with my now 3 year old, and I have been allowed to revert.

cyn said...

This (much too close to home) post was written in such a fun way. Thanks for sharing. My kids have not shared all of this...yet. I know it is around the corner. And I dread it.

Heather said...

Oh my gosh....Priceless! Here's how our conversation on the way to "big boy" school i.e.Mother's Day Out! We're at a stop light. Luke: Mommy Go. Me: Can't Luke the car's in front of me are stopped. See their red lights on the back shining? Luke: Go Red car, please! Car's start to move forward, as do I. Luke: Thank You car, thank you SO much. You're a good listener, good job! I laughed so hard. I guess he hears that often, go figure! Aren't kids just hilarious? I love the fact that you're are being so PC.

realworldmartha said...

I have an 11 and 6 year old so I can relate. How can something be so cute and not at the same time?
Debbie aka The Real World Martha
http://realworldmartha.wordpress.com

Pam said...

Oh the joy yet to come for me! Already? at 9 and 10? oh my! you deserve a drink!

Zoe said...

apparently age 6 is the age of emancipation here at the love shack. i was told monday i am NOT to kiss him goodbye, or hold his hand or touch him at all when dropping him off at school. he also wants to look for a job and a wife...but they plan to live with me. great.