Thursday, January 24, 2008

Saying Goodbye...

Image from Julian's "treasure box"...

Last night was Juju's viewing, the funeral is today at 11am...PLEASE pray at 11 for Mimi and their family and friends!

My brain will not let me go to where Mimi's must be. I cannot even begin to imagine how badly her heart aches for Julian. And today she has to put her baby in the ground. Forever.

Her words from this morning... "Last night was so bitter sweet... I couldn't get myself anywhere near Julian's caskett. Nope, wasn't gonna do it. I saw him fight for his last breath, I held him multiple times that day. I went to see him at the funeral home on Monday. But last night, I just couldn't do it. Quinn's mom Diane told me a story about a nine year old little girl seeing a child's caskett, she said it was so pretty it looked like a treasure box, indeed, it is a treasure, you put your treasure in there, your most valuable treasure, and then you burry it... So many people showed up. I dont know how many but it was quite overwhelming . Familiar faces, total strangers...Well strangers to me, not to Julian. They all knew about the King. A few know him from the care page, a lot are friends of friends. And then our close support group. Our Angels, Cindy,Linda and Carla, Dr O. , Sam, Tamye were there. Sam's 4th grade teachers came and brought him a bear from build a bear. Renee brought a yellow care bear, which ended up in the treasure box. So many people so many gestures... One present was the hardest to look at but I hold it so very close. It is a drawing from Kiley, beautiful, sweet Kiley. A coloring of Cinderella and her Prince dancing. She says Julian will be her prince for Halloween. What do we tell her? Then there were my boys, (well Teresa's boys) Ethan(15) and Oakley(12) who hadn't seen Ju since the beginning of Dec. when he was still interacting, playing, talking, laughing, telling them to shut up, then now just still, quiet and cold in his treasure box... They were so sad, their heart broken like mine, he was their little bubba... Anyways... I need to get ready. I dont know how to get ready, who could...We will take pictures of the balloons." I can hear her pain. I ache for her and I feel helpless...what in the world could I possibly do for her? I considered flying out to the funeral, I thought of flowers and gifts I could send, I thought of poems I could write and portraits I could draw. But, right now, is that what she needs? Something else to look at? Something else to write a 'thank you' for? No. What she needs is a FEELING, a special TOUCH from God. She needs to feel an overwhelming sense of peace that can only come from her Father in Heaven. Philippians 4:7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Please visit Julian's guest book and leave a message. Please light a candle...even if you have already, they only stay lit for 48 hours so you can go back and re-light one. PLEASE put a link to this post or post your own prayer request for the Avery's. Feel free to email me with messages for Mimi - I will pass them along. michellebrownlow@yahoo.com My heart is breaking for them. I will spend the day praying for her peace, will you? In lieu of flowers, Mimi is asking that anyone who wants to give makes donations to either Make-A-Wish or Cook's Children's Hospital in Ft. Worth, TX. Just google those names and follow the links to the donations page.

15 comments:

Saša G. said...

Hi, Michelle.
Just wanted to tell You what an amazing friend You are to Mimi, reaching to so many people so promptly and I am glad your little ones have You for their Mom:)
My heart is broken and I would do anything to take the pain away form JuJu's KinGdom!
Hugs,

Sasha

My Semblance of Sanity said...

She just has touched my life so deeply with her faith and her strength. I just want to touch her life to thank her for being who she is!

:)You, too, dear Sasha, have brought Julian around the world.
Thank YOU!

realworldmartha said...

I have caught just a little of the story and have prayed. It is so sad and I can't even imagine the grief. I lost my mother when I was 17 and still feel grief I don't know the grief of a child -unimaginable! Prayers all around!

Heather said...

Michelle, I should have gone to the funeral being it was right here local. I'm sad I missed it, but she is in my prayers. I cannot imagine burying a child.

Heather

Tracy said...

Like you, I've been fighting to not put my mind where her's has no choice but to be. I read his obituary yesterday and just the thought of having to do that for your baby made me bawl for her and her family.
If I can offer some advice? Although I'm sure she would have appreciated your flying out for the funeral, I've always been told that it's after the funeral and everyone has gone back to their lives that they need someone most. Maybe you could go spend time with her then?
Thank you for always posting what she writes. I'm going to link to you tomorrow. Promise. I think that everyone should know about Julian and what she's going through.

MelissaQ said...

What can I say that every one else hasnt already said. This story has touched me in such a profound way. I lost my Grandfather to Cancer 4 years ago and it was painful. I CANNOT begin to imagine what kind of deep and unbearable pain MIMI must be going through, and her whole family. Those poor boys it must be such a terrible thing for them to comprehend that their brother is gone. Oh My GOD, I cant type, too many tears. I put a song on my blog that I think fits this sad time. Thank you for Keeping us posted. I wish I could have gone, I grew up In Fort Worth, and my mother lives in Lake Worth, near Saginaw. We will pray for King JUJU and his entire family.
Thanks again.

nickernoodle said...

I can't imagine what she must be feeling right now. My prayers go out to her and her family.

Daddy said...

Michelle,

You have always been my Special Angel and now I know I am to share you with the whole world. I am so very proud of you and your faith in God. I have been so blessed having you as my daughter and now I share you with many others that are blessed by you.

Love Ya,
Daddy

Zoe said...

michelle, there are no words to describe the saddness in my heart as i read this. how blessed they are to have you in their lives.

Grandmother Goddess of the Garden said...

What a lovely comment from your father! You are special! Many are sharing the sorrow today...and learning from you, Mimi, her family. I posted the first painting...it's half done...thanks for that too!

coffespaz said...

A beautiful post my dear. I can't help but to thank God for leading me to you. For without you, I never would know about Juju in the first place. And though we are all greiving with Mimi, and praying for her and her family, we are all blessed to have known such a special little boy.

My Semblance of Sanity said...

The day is almost over but I am sure Mimi has just begun...let the healing begin!

Heather said...

Michelle, hop on over to my blog when you get a free minute so you can see the special tribute to JuJu.

Heather

A Moment in the Life of a Mother said...

My heart is broken for Julian and Mimi. Even though we know that Julian is in heaven with no pain, it is still hard to bear. Thanks for sharing. I lit a candle for Julian tonight. The initials are pgw. God bless you.

VanDerHoekArt said...

Tears and prayers to Mimi and her family. Please let her know that she's not alone on her bathroom floor.

Peace.