I am a blogging mom of three who sums up her chaotic days with humorous rants in between cleaning peanut butter off the ceiling fan and keeping my youngest occupied in the lazy Susan. Put your feet up and laugh at me. My neighbors do!
Monday, April 7, 2008
A mini-John Deere rollin' down Peanut Butter Cracker Lane...
that's how my morning started.
I needed to go to the bathroom be out of the room for a minute so I set up little snack for my little DESTRUCTO man, put in Finding Nemo and headed off to relieve myselfget some stuff done. I was in awe of the peaceful sounds coming from the living room. Dory and Nemo. I was mesmerized by the "just keep swimming, just keep swimming....."
Then, WHAMMO, from around the corner bursts in my little fire plug and he says in his cutest of voices, "eeeeewwwwwwwwwww, Mama, eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" I look down at his bright green John Deere her drove in and notice something smashed between all the tread.
PEANUT BUTTER CRACKERS!!!!!
I gather myself and walk in the living room to a large garden of crumbs and PB mashed into my carpet....my light beige carpet. "Nice Harvest you got there, son...Do you know what DADDY is gonna say when he gets home?!"
And with that, he took off like Dash from The Incredibles, grabbed a dish rag and started scrubbing. Why is MY reaction not enough to halt these ridiculous shenanigans? Why does he not FEAR me?? I am the one who will soon have a nervous twitch and a speech impediment from the stress-induced stroke he causes me!
Thanks to the Stanley Steemer guy who talked me into Scotch Guard, it came up effortlessly and Daddy will never have to know!
I then welcomed my mom in and headed to the "feet in the stirrups" doctor. BLECH! I unloaded on her the painstaking life of a mom to a special needs child and she said "make time for you and seek counselling."
"Can you write me a prescription for the extra day in the week it will take to add those two things? Do you even HAVE kids? Sheesh!"
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This time next week Dawn, Mimi and I will be in the Oprah audience!!! Some of you seem to be CONVINCED we will be ON the show! Puh-lease!!! Kendra told me that the reason we got that specific date was that we "fit that day's audience profile." Hmmmmmmm. So, she is doing a show on "women who are so desperate to get away because they do way too much and have more than they can handle within four walls so they travel across state lines to meet complete strangers who could be axe murders but at least they will have some grown up time." Great! She's got US pegged!!
Remember, it is a LIVE taping which means it will air THAT DAY!! Watch for us!!!
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Kendra update!
Kendra will have 5 (ugh, FIVE) radiations this week. All of you who are known for your powerful prayer - GIVE 'EM TO HER!! And the rest of you....GIVE 'EM TO HER!! Even if you have never prayed a day in your life, she needs YOURS, too!
She is in great spirits!! Her daughter said she can only attribute her "glow" to the radiation!! LOL!
Go to her site and give her some love!! Maybe even leave your prayer in her comment section so she can read and re-read it over the week.
God Bless you, sista!!
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Manic Mommy and I are planning a couple FUN DITTIES these next couple of days!! We, believe it or not, confuse our readers...sometimes I get comments from people thinking I am Manic and she gets comments from people thinking SHE is ME! Check us out on Tuesday night as we BLOG LIVE during AMERICAN IDOL!!!! And then check back and brush up on your Manic and Semblance trivia...we decided to keep you all guessing...there's a combo contest in the works!!!
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8 comments:
Every night, my 7 year old daughter includes "the library lady" in our prayers. (I had mentioned that Kendra read to kids at the library). We'll be praying again tonight.
Michelle,
Just to put your mind at ease. I have known Dawn since she was a youngster and have never seen her with an ax. So I am pretty sure you are safe in that department. Now, if the three of you can control your own behavior in other areas, then I am sure you will have a GREAT TIME!
Sandy, HE, ILLINOIS
First ,you dont say grown up , you say growed up ,DONT YOU WATCH LITTLE FOOT???
second...I am having second thoughts about that trip....LOL
Love you
Mimi
Michelle,
Loved the "nervous twitch and a speech impediment from the stress-induced stroke he causes me!" I know what you mean. I have high
maintenance children too. Try shoe shopping with my little guy...45 minutes in Kmart and NOTHING but a crying child and an almost twitching momma!
I am so excited to watch Oprah (something I never do, so it's on the calendar) to see how the 3 of you fit the profile.
Thanks for the reliable laugh. Love you, Theresa
You too are a hoot. I'm sure that we could start some rumors about you and Stanley...steemer that is! Wink
Heather
Thanks for brightening my day Michelle! I've had similar moments with my little man. Your post has me giggling!
Kendra's getting my prayers! And you, lady, are funny! I love reading your blog! Although I shouldn't read it right before bed, like I usually do, cause sometimes I'm up giggling at 3am over something you posted!
So what are you people saying? You're not twitching already, like on a daily basis from the moment you wake up until the moment you shut your eyes in bed at night?
Right....
Cause I totally am not twitching like that either. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same playing field here.
Good to know...
twitch twitch
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