So, that is why I need to run a few things by you...
Would it be a sin to just throw away the disobedient plants in my house? How is it that I can keep 3 children, 2 adults and 1 dog and cat alive but anything green is DOOMED once it enters my life? The sad plant on the right is actually a piece of a plant that was my husband's grandmothers, it was carefully harvested and replanted by my mother-in-law and given to me...that day I felt the stress of the world sitting on my shoulders. "Really? Thanks. You are entrusting me with a plant that is older than any human I know. Wow. I don't know what to say...(whispering: except, 'where can I buy one when this one bites it?') Now, in my mother-in-law's defense, she KNOWS that I missed the 'green thumb' give-a-ways so, I feel complimented that she had more faith in my abilities than I did.
Can I shave the dog, throw away 1/2 the toys, bleach my rug, or paint the linoleum when no one is looking? If I had a dollar for every minute that I vacuum (or even hand pluck) the dog hair from the floors, stepped on pointy toys, tried to clean spewed purple Tylenol liquid from my white carpets or 'magically erase' the skid marks on my white linoleum from a mini-stunt triker, I wouldn't have needed the trip to AC with my dad yesterday!!
.
Would it be a sin to donate all the towels in my house to charity and put an extra roll of TP in each bathroom for the kids to dry off with so I don't walk around each morning gathering piles like this.
.
Would it be a sin to have a freezer that looked like this
but when the Spring Fundraisers are delivered, turn to this? 
(notice the empty spaces?)
.
Would it be a sin to just stuff some garbage bags full of TP (or old towels) and put them on the couch for the family's enjoyment so I am not constantly picking up my $20 pillows of the dog-hairy, Tylenol-stained carpet?
.
How about serving only water so when the self-taught lesson in toddler surface tension are complete, the mess I have to clean up is not sticky...apparently the older two just moved their left-over breakfast to the counter and not the dishwasher...a toddler's dream.
.
And after you help me decide what to do about these conundrums, you can get to work on these...
.
How do I keep 40,000 crayons from being thrown around the room? Isn't coloring supposed to hold a child's attention? The actual adding of color to the pictures? Why does it end up being a "let's see how many I can fit in my fat little hand and how far I can get them to fly" game?
.
How do I squelch the passion for putting stuff in his hair? Three days ago he had his hair plastered to his head - Elvis-fashion - with CUREL (yeah, the lotion). On this day, I walked in to bathroom and he was primping with orange anti-bacterial soap!
Why??
19 comments:
Ok, you had me in stitches girl. You're NOT alone. Just wait until you see how many responses you get to this post.
Here's MY remedy on the items that you REALLY don't want any longer go to freecycle.org and list them to be given away for free to whomever can make it to your front porch the fastest. I did that last week with my old dishes. Someone was at my porch in 45 minutes after listing, to pick them up. No one has to know if you're home or not. It's perfectly safe. Check it out. All you do is log on to freecycle.org and subscribe to the DAILY digest, NOT individual emails and you will get a listing daily of all the items offered/taken/wanted. It's awesome.
Now, in regards to the plant that was your great, great, great, aunt's, mother's father's sister's brother twice removed I say this... offer up "shoots, leaves" of the plant to be mailed to your blogger readers who might be interested in growing a plant off your plant. Great Great aunt Harriet would be happy.
Don't you think it would be SO COOL to see how much life your plant still has in it. My thoughts would be this. You pull off some of the leaves and put them in a glass of water until they sprout roots. Upon roots sprouting (couple weeks) let us bloggers mail you a check or Paypal you the funds to cover postage, time, handling of our "root" which you will somehow creatively wrap in a watertight ziploc baggy and mail to us. When we get them, we plant them and see how we can get them to grow. Here's where the contest comes in. The blogger who rec'd the root and plants and makes grow the fastest and in the prettiest decorated pot wins...Maybe another blogger handmakes something and will sponsor the contest. I think it would be fun. And, we all know that you have LOTS of free time...joking.....But it's the gift that keeps on giving. Kind of like organ donation....What do you think. You could put some other twist on my idea, but I think it would be fun. Let's see what everyone else thinks. Heather
P.S. Sorry for the novel. No, I'm NOT my idea is good and I will not apologize. (sticking out tongue)
Michelle, too funny! I have plant gift from my mother-in-law as well (a spider plant), but have the opposite problem - the thing just will not die. That really isn't so much of a problem, since it's easy to take care of and looks kinda nice. It's the propagation abilities of this thing that are killin' me. It sprouts more babies than a rabbit. Hundreds, so far, and I can't bring myself to toss them away. I have given them to the movers we had once. I put a ribbon on them and gave them to the kids' teachers (for Christmas, and AND end-of-the-year) for the last two years. I gave them to three sets of new neighbors as housewarming gifts. Last summer, I planted about 20 of them in plastic cups and pushed them on my mom's relatives. Then, I took another 15 or so and dropped them off on neighbor's porches, then scurried off before they got home from work. I even sent my kids, spider plants in hand, to neighbors who are always home, figuring they wouldn't say no to cute little faces... So, who do you know who'd want a nice spider plant? (I warn you, though, even their babies have babies! Lots and lots of babies...)
Kim Wheedleton
LOL I love plants... I have sent hundreds over the years to school with my kids as take home gifts...just get some dixie cups a bag of potting soil put your little ones to work planting babies to give to class mates... my sons first grade had 5 seperate classes we gave to them ALL :-) mail me a snippit i will grow it...
as for everything else freecycle is a good idea,
sounds like your dad and you had a ball !!!
hugs laura
I see no problem with any of your creative solutions. I vote YES to all.
My mother was the queen of throwing out houseplants. The minute they started to flag, they depressed her and out they went. That's why we kids always pretended to be healthy.
My kids are grown, two still living here with us, and I still deal with all the same issues as you, hehe. I remember thinking how great it would be when my kids grew up and learned to help me and clean up.....Bawhahahahahahahahaha!
I missed the green thumb, too! In fact a few months ago I did a post about a plant I wanted to save. It was given to me by my in-laws when Peanut was born. I killed it and no one had suggestions to save it. But this is my solution. The dead plant is in my garage and when the weather gets better I am going to bury it under my favorite lilac bush. That way I know it is still there and can remember it. I do better with outdoor items.
In regards to everything else, I say YES! I think I may do the same here!
I say YES, you can do all those things, but I suggest paper towel instead of t.p. cause t.p. dissolves in water for the towel replacement thing. Also, for the crayons, we gave them all away and kept just 8 sidewalk chalks at a time out to draw with, it wipes off stuff easier and cut down on the messes tremendously. Now that the kids are getting bigger we are slowly introducing a few colored pencils and crayons. Unfortunately, they still manage to find markers sometimes (a few posts back I posted on their art). As for the hair get thing, get a big container of the cheapest hair gel on the planet, then fill a small container with some and keep that by the sink. ANY other substance plus the big container should be kept locked up (see the post on my sidebar under catergories- favorites-baby advice to know how to lock them up) Then let him be Elvis for however long the phase lasts.
Thank you so much for your post because now I feel more normal, I think of things like that ALL THE TIME!!!!
Oh, I just thought of a thing my friend does with the "orphan" crayons. She take the paper off of them and puts them in a muffin pan and melts them all together making a GIANT crayon that is easy for little hands to hold. She said that the candy molds shaped like hearts works good too. Melt away! Would be a fun kids art project. P.S. Did you see CF Husband got the lung tranplant call...PRAY PRAY PRAY Heather
ROFL! I'm sorry to laugh at your pain, but LOL! I understand. I commiserate.
I so understand. I was asking my hubby if we could just move and start over. Of course would have to take the pictures and baby books etc, but all the rest stays! He just looked at me like I was crazy. I really do feel like I am being overtaken with stuff. You have inspired me to do a real Spring Cleaning! Maybe I can just offer up all the stuff in my house on freecycle. Just put it all on the front lawn and do some kind of farm animal call! Can you just see the traffic jam now?
HAHA Michelle. I missed the green thumb giveaway too.
All your suggestions sounds like a good idea. I'm trying to springclean/rearrange my house, it is not fun.. Biggest problem is kiddos bedroom. She is the youngest in the family ( of all the cousins) so I get all handme down clothes, books, toys, etc, and SHE DOESAN:T NEED THEM, lol.
Being the only grandkidlet on both sides she gets enough without getting hand me downs, So I'm trying to condense and pitch.
Will show pictures of the finished produt( room, )lol
P.S. Maybe your son thought the Curel said "Curl" and was putting it in his hair to get that Elvis curl. Wink.
No, it's not a sin. Just toss it all (leave the kid though)... You'd be happier in the long run. If only I could take my own advice... Sigh
I have a thought to help with the towel dilemma (a huge one in our house & I only have 1 teenager-but I seem to go thru 800 towels a week and always have). At about 9 or 10, we decided it was time for him to learn the art of doing the laundry-afterall he will be on his own at some point in life. NOT TOO MENTION-the fact that he seemed to be taking all MY work for granted. My focus was on towels-something that if he turns them colors won't matter-unlike dad's white work shirts (funny personal experience!)
so he learned how to sort darks from lights, how much & where the soap goes, how to turn it on, switch to the dryer & fold-tho he doesn't fold them my way (even to date!) So now, when the towels are out of control-it becomes his job to wash, dry, fold & put away those towels! He still uses a lot of towels, but he is responsible for cleaning them up & wow do I feel way less stress when I see them around (or not on the shelves anyway)
Sorry for the book-that was my idea! Like the rest of those creative solutions too!
I liked the one about the hair gel for "I" in the bathroom-what a great idea!
That's too funny! You have permission. I always say that we can't always do everything and get away from anything that holds you back from what you are good at. So if the carpet has to go it has to go :)
The hair products and non-hair products will wash out. Any crayon that is broken is in the garbage. The kindergarten teacher has instructed my 5 year old to practice spills at home. Let's just say we will be a master! My $20 pillow has a greasy mac & cheese stain on one side. That's the side that faces the couch. I bought the whole wheat pizza and the big choc. cake for our fundraiser. Compromise. I have the same towel issue! I have cat hair & cat yack that I don't know how to deal with. I recently stepped on a clothes pin. Why do I have those bloody things when I have a dryer? No living plants. I have a flesh colored thumb. I do not consider any of your suggestions a sin. Go for it!
Love you, Theresa
Sorry I'm late; I've been out of town washing muddy soccer clothes at midnight with a hotel room-sized bottle of shampoo.
But the Doctor (of Philosophy) has this to say to your questions:
Yes. Throw it away. Throw it all away...plants, crayons, pillows, the whole shebang. Shave the kids' heads. You will feel free! Free! Free at last!
No. You don't want to replace the towels with an extra roll of toilet paper. How long do you think it will take your kids to figure out that wet toilet paper will stick to the floor, walls and ceiling, and once someone finally gets on a ladder and peels it off, will leave a permanent urine-colored spot? Even if it was only wet with regular hand-washing water? NOT LONG AT ALL. Instead, tether your towels to the wall, like bank tellers do with their pens.
You're welcome, Michelle. Let me know if I can help with anything else.
i have four big green plants on my back porch! They are all silk.
the rest? this too shall pass. really. and you'll miss it. I think. At least that's what they tell me.
Post a Comment