Wednesday, May 21, 2008
No more what??
So, a while back I blogged about the chords attached to my chest, stickies on my boobulars and the gadget stuffed into my pocket. Missed it? Read it here. It is called a Holter Monitor and is kind of like a 24-hour EKG. Every time you have an "episode" (which for me was a fluttering feeling in my chest) you push a button on the small black box stuffed in your pocket and write the time and what you were doing in a little book. Well, I went to get the results. My doctor unfolded a long paper and quietly studied it. Hello, sitting right here, gimme the news! WHY do they do that? The look and they "hmmmm" and then they look and they "hmmmm." Here's the scoop! I am not experiencing heart palpitations as I had thought. I have PVC. No, not like the pipe! PVCs are premature ventricular contractions = extra heart beats. HE THINKS IT COULD BE FROM CAFFEINE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Then he sent me for a 2D echocardiogram. Lemme tell you, the next person that comes at me with STICKERS FOR MY BOOBS (or warm gell, for that matter) is gonna get slapped! I laid on my side on a bed with my arm above my head in a dark room while a woman I have never met before lubed my left gazzunga and went to town. I was thinking how non-invasive this procedure would be if I was a man. And, and, if I was a guy I would never have to feel a speculum either. Charmed life!LOL! So, I wait for those results but the tech (chief - lubricator) said, "Now, if I noticed something I would have you wait for a cardiologist. I am NOT doing that. I am telling you that you can GO!" In her own "on the down low" way, she was saying, "Move along. Nothing to see here." So, apparently my Venti, iced, non-fat Carmel Macchiato order just grew by another letter...decaf! UGH! Case in point, it is 1:02 am. My dear, sweet, LOUD toddler gets up at 5:30 am - decaf is about as good to me as a flip flop with no strap...does NOTHING for me! Goodnight. Don't forget to check out it's 4 the kids! It's live! Over 1500 hits on Wednesday!