Hmmm. I came to the conclusion that a pair of handlebars would not fit my laptop easily. And I don't think my Vera Bradley bag would stay on my shoulder unless I walked beside my "ride" and that's just really not what you do with a "HOG!" But, I think I got the lingo down.
So, then I stopped at the end of the drive-thru lane to hand my little guy a donut hole and I saw the next person I thought I may want to be for a day. He was about 70 and he had plunked himself out on the Dunkin Donuts patio with the paper, a donut and some coffee. I
stuffed a hole in my mouth sipped my iced heaven and let my mind go there...
Then my vain self saw his wrinkles and thought about his aches and pains. I wondered if he even knew what a blog was or how many kids John & Kate have! Then I decided, although he has probably had a full and happy life, his life maybe was not for me. So, I put the "elderly man option" on the back burner.
As I left the shopping center and sat at the light, my eyes gazed across the grass landing strip across the road, the rolling fields and off in the distance the ugly, smelly landfill. A teeny, tiny bulldozer crept to the top of the dirt/garbage mound and I thought about the driver. He just sits and pushes some buttons. I bet he doesn't have to argue with anyone about brushing their teeth. Even though his machine is loud, I bet its not as loud as a tantrumming 2 year old. As a bulldozer driver...what do you call them? Bulldozerer? As a bulldozerer, I could probably call someone and have a whole conversation on my cell phone! So, I let my mind go there...
Then, as I
was rudely interrupted by honking horns pulled away from the green light I noticed flocks of seagulls whipping and whirling all around the 'dozer. Hmmmm, birds poop, alot and THAT many birds probably poop a HECKUVA lot! Ewww. Then I thought of the stenchified things I throw away everyday. Poop - both baby and dog. Apparently, bulldozerers deal with a lot of SH--!
By the time I got home I realized, once again, I don't need to be anywhere but here. Sure, there are days I need a break. Heck, there are days I would pay the mail lady to watch the kids so I could just spend a little time in the bathroom - ALONE!
But, no matter how much peanut butter and snot gets in my hair, no matter how many times I have to say, "I'll call you back," no matter how often I hear, "Moooooom, she is bugging me!" or have to clean throw up off the dog...this is MY chaos and I am proud to be the MOM to this MESS!
(*disclaimer- I respect all Harley riders, old men and bulldozerers. This post is merely to make me feel better during a week I would like to forget.)