So, here it is...my weekend in a nutshell...

So, as I sit here gnoshing on Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies that I can't even taste because I have a truckload of snot in my head, I contemplate how to make this post funny...so bear with me, blogfriends...this weekend was a doozie. I think the easiest way to recall the chaos-ities (that's a new word) is to count 'em up, so here goes: 1. Expecting a check in Friday's mail, I ran to the box. No check. But the recent issue of the paper I write for was there. I turn to page 4 - my page - NADA! The editor neglected to print my column. Now, this may not sound like a big deal, but I regularly get comments from readers who say nice things about enjoying Friday's Page 4. I hate to appear inconsistent. It just bothers me. 2. As I frantically paged through the paper to see if I was on a different page, I caught a glimpse of a familiar face. What took my breath away was that as I flipped past the face I realized the word OBITUARY was above it. Someone I went to school with, someone I just saw two weeks ago at the grocery store was dead. WHAT?! I skimmed through the obit as I was too sad to actually read everyword...I caught the phrase, "after a courageous battle with cancer." I had no idea. I had only seen him twice in about 6 years but we chatted and caught up on "stuff." I didn't know. I really didn't know. 3. DATENIGHT! My love and I went out to the Country Club for our Valentine's dinner. No, we are not members, although it was fun to pretend while I typed that...it was a church organized function. It was fun. There was acoustic music, great food, friends and a funny skit where a married couple traded places for a few minutes. The husband uttered things like, "Can you just turn off the TV and listen to me?" "I just want to be held." "I can't just turn it on and off." The wife responded with comments like, "There's an off switch?!" Funny!!! 4. Saturday brought me ALONE TIME. Even though my husband woke up sick (and wives, you know what that means...groaning, moping and sighs. WTFreak?!) I left him with the kids. How is it that we can push a baby out of ...well, insert your own word here...and in two days we are loading the dishwasher, folding laundry, making dinner all while breastfeeding our twins and changing their diapers in a blink? But, a man gets a cold and the whole world comes crumbling down! Actually, my husband is not bad when he is sick - but I know a lot of men are - or so I hear. Back to my ALONE time. I felt bad leaving him with all three kids but I had to go to the fabric store as I had 8 little girls who were meeting me at the church later to make blankets for a local children's home as their ACT OF KINDNESS. I was ALONE in the car, listening to non-Hannah Montana/Jonas Brothers music. Singing loudly with no one complaining that someone can't hear their iPods. Ahhhh HEAVEN. 5. WHAM! I am rearended! In my husband's car. Small sadan (me) vs. Large Suburban. By the grace of God (I MEAN THAT SERIOUSLY) there was not even a mark on his bumper. I was hit hard enough to look like a bobblehead being shook and had I had my lipstick applicator out of the tube I would have impaled my brain with Mocha Madness lip gloss. I was fine, although quite shaky. The driver of the big-fat-not-looking-where-you-are-going car was fine, too. So, I continued on my way to the fabric store. 6. After settling my nerves with the NEWSBOYS on MAX volume, I pulled into the parking lot of where I would clear the shelves of fuzzy fleece. I found my fleece, had it cut (LOTS OF IT) and headed for the register. There is something relaxing about standing in line at a register with NO children trying to stand up in the seat, pulling so hard on your shirt while they try to stand that the man in front of you hands you Mardi Gras beads. My cashier was moving a little slowly and fanning herself with her hand but I didn't mind, I was relaxing. My woman-parts were not flahed and were neatly tucked inside my shirt and I was peeking through a gossip magazine. When it was my turn, her phone rang and the only part of her conversation I heard was, "they will never let me go home." She scanned my fleece and random snacks I got for my girlies who would be turning them into snuggly blankets. Every now and then she grabbed the counter as though she were floating away. She sighed a few times and finally she said, "I am so light headed, I am sorry." After a couple times of her teetering behind the register, I asked her if she wanted me to get someone. She said yes. I asked who. She said, "Anyone" and she flipped her light on for a manager. I saw a manager coming and she said, "Register 15, I am on my way." I turned back to my teen clerk and said, "Someone is..." and with that her eyes rolled back in her head and she went down like a ton of bricks. I think I screamed because I wa s so afraid her head was going to hit the cement. I don't think it did. Then, she started seizing. SEIZING! There was a paramedic in my line and he ran to help, people called 9-1-1, someone called her mom, someone took off his coat to put under her head as she squealed and cried and continued to seize. Someone got my register receipt for me so I could sign it and I left praying for Arianna, my cashier. 7. I took an unexpected rest at Barnes & Noble cafe to sip a hot Macchiato and relax. Bad things happen in three's, you know! I was a ball of nerves. 8. I cut and tied fleece blankets from 5 - 11 pm with my girls from church and had my friend's kids overnight. All-in-all a VERY fun evening! 9. Today I took my 7 fleece-tying troopers to The Children's Home of Reading to deliver their wares. What an amazing experience. It is confidential who is a resident there so we were only allowed to drop them off with the directors but we ended up staying there for almost 2 hours. The girls had so many questions, "Do the kids get to see their moms?" "How do you know it is safe for them to go back home?" "Do they get to play with their friends?" "Do they have a church to go to?" "Are they sad?" I was so touched by the love these women share for the children they have there. They house 72 boys in their treatment facility. While answering the girls' questions Janene and Debbie teared up numerous times, wearing their hearts on their sleeves. Beautiful. French fries, milkshakes and a Hannah Montana DVD for the ride home and I am sure they would agree it was well worth the trip in the rain to Reading. 10. My daughter is now feverish and sick. No school for her tomorrow. Cancelling all my appts and meetings and very well MAY declare Tuesday JAMMIE DAY!!! Thinking about doing a BIRTH STORY contest/post/original MEME. Interest? Go to BECAUSE I SAID SO and win Tupperware if you guess what the globulous food Dawn's hubby found in their son's bed. His bed! Nighty night.