Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Take a deep breath and count to...

Ten? Isn't that what you are supposed to count to when you are frustrated? . Well, what about when you have reached new heights of frustration? The heights that make you want to pull your eyelids off just to make a statement? Then what do you count to? Or do you not count at all? Maybe there is a new level of frustration elimination for those of us with no eyelids. . I think my 2-year old is trying to break me. He is either a shape-shifter and is actually a 45-year old man hired by the CIA to do torture testing on middle American moms or I have simply hit my limit with #3. . This little dude stretches me like no other child has. I have taught all ages of children - I was a HS art teacher for goodness sake! I have two older children who are only 15 months apart - I thought that was stretching it...nope...not even close. . My precious little blond-haired, blue-eyed cupid can now unlock locked doors. While I am trying to relieve myself in peace (see previous post about being constipated) and my older ones have friends over so there is a need to have the door closed AND LOCKED. He now, uses his little tiny fingers and gently turns the lock and out he goes leaving me quite vulnerable on my Throne. And, no, of course I can't reach the door to shut it without getting up and walking...ummm, yeah, not so pretty! . This sweet little chubby-cheeked babe has grown a fraction of an inch and can now reach OVER the baby gates and release them whenever he darn-well pleases. His first inclination is to run up the stairs to his brother's room, scale the bedspread and jump under the covers on a too-tall-for-him bed. He got farther ahead of me this time and by the time I jogged to the top of the stairs (thinking I had collapsed a lung, of course) and there he was...under the covers, head on the pillow, iPod ear buds in place and Nintendo DS in hand. See, shape-shifter, I just know it! . My 27.5 pound little guy could win a medal in "keep away." You know the game...half-way around the kitchen island with a cupcake in each hand...peek, sees Mommy headed his way...half-way the OTHER way around the kitchen island with icing on his nose and squeezing the bejeebies out of what used to be cupcakes from the sheer excitement of seeing my face start to twitch. Can you have a stroke just from toddler-induced stress? . A quite imaginative little one, he has now decided that every air conditioning/heating vent in the house is a slide for all of his toys. He carefully and quietly rounds the corner with toy/car/small family pet in hand, squeezes his puny fingers between the fins of the grate and removes it only to squeal, "WWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" as he sends his little friend down for the ride of its life! . His newest obsession? The DVD player. He knows exactly which of his toy totes when turned upside down makes him just tall enough to reach the open/close button and what fun that is. Dinosaur in..."close"...grind, grind...nope, doesn't fit Bob the Builder vehicle?..."close"...crunch, squeal...nope. Pacifier?..."close"...lurch, crank...LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE HAVE A WINNER!! Of course, now his beloved "Boo," as he calls it, is in there for life because the $#@#$% thing won't open again...and it's an all out temper tantrum while shrieking "BOO! BOO!" at 47 decibels above human hearing level!! . You are thinking, "Just chill, lady. It's just what toddlers do!" . But, is it typical for this to take place inside a 30 minute time frame?!! . Has anyone see my eyelids?

14 comments:

kay said...

hahahahahahahahaha!!!!

oh my gosh i DON'T think that is normal for a 30 minute time frame. but it sure is fun to read about. especially since mine have passed that stage in life!! :)

Melissa said...

Oh yes, it is normal for a 30 minute time frame depending on the child. I have one just like your son at home. You will be glad to know that your son will grow out of it as he gets older...just wait until he starts asking "but why?"

Oswegan said...

Ouch, that pulling off the eyelids is still with me.

I know what you mean about kids being a lot of work. We have three and our youngest is now five - he still puts us through our paces every day.

Stay strong, you can do it.

~Oswegan

Valarie said...

HAHAHA! I have one of those. He is 5 now. I'd like to tell you it gets better....but nope. It doesn't.
He used to like to stick things in vents also....but mostly it was credit cards/bank cards/driver's licenses. We had to make it a routine to check the vents on Saturday mornings.

My Semblance of Sanity said...

My oldest had a thing for "slots," too.

Once we had to take my van in to get the CD Player fixed...

The guy at the shop handed me 1.19 in change when I went to pick it up..."Ma'am, your CD player is fine - someone was just using it as a bank!"

**I used to let my son play drive while I was cleaning the car out.

ValleyGirl said...

Wow, I'm exhausted just reading about it! I thought I had it rough with a very active 3-yr old, but I think you win!

Jennifer said...

Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for giving me a reason to be happy that my babies are growing up. My worst "adventurous toddler" that we had named "monkey" (I am sure you can figure why we named her that, if not picture her climbing up the refridgerator, the dryer, etc. using the the drawers as steps to reach those toys that had been put in "time out") is now 12.
Now if you have any control issues wait 'till that precious little one of yours is taking driver's ed and all your other charges are in the vehicle also and you have absolutly no control from the driver's seat. Wow, talk about a whole new level of fear! My son's 16th birthday couldn't have come quick enough so that I never had to ride with him again. I should add that he passed his test with flying colors so it really was just my issues with control that were stessing me out not his driving ability.
Smiles!

Kellan said...

Ah, yes - boys!! Good luck with yours - mine is ten now and still into stuff (bow and arrows, bee-bee guns, climbing way high in any tree, disappearing into the woods ...) - cute and exhausing post - I'm Kellan, nice to meet you.

Andrea said...

Wow, he would have me pulling at my eyelids too!!! My six year old is like that. He has been like that since he could walk and scream!! I sometimes dred seeing the bus stopping infront of my house. You just never know what kinda tazmanian devil might burst through the door. I love him but man........pulling at eyelids!!

Erin said...

lmao, I can hardly breathe right now!

Tracy said...

I am so sorry for what you are going through but I am also elated to know that I am not the only one going through this with my son! He is 19 mos. old and never.stops.moving. I have two girls who are 7 and 6, only 15 mos. apart and I thought that I had this mothering thing down but then I have this precious little boy who makes me feel like I've never done this before.
If you find your eyelids, could you please see if mine are with them?

Snaggle Tooth said...

yes!

What an inspiration for a horror film... why is #3 always this one?

papersunshine said...

Oh my goodness gal, you do have your hands full! I have one of those except he is now 5 1/2. I just kept saying to myself "this too shall pass" but it hasn't yet! What is it with some boys, mine is cute and blonde and hazel eyed and evil. Well not evil really but it seems evil what they do! We ended up putting those hook and latch things up high on the doors and placing things we didnt want destroyed in storage and well changing out whole family room just for him. His stuff, furniture we could live with him destroying, etc. (not that we let him we still teach him not to do those things...) but anyway I FEEL for you and you are doing great with him :) Just pat yourself on the back, grit your teeth, love him anyway and get through it LOL!

Zoe said...

it has something to do with 3rd children. my 3rd child could bring a nun to tears.