A day in the life...

"Please don't pour your orange juice in your....(sigh) cereal." "No. No. No. Grapes are not good for dogs!" "Let Mommy wipe your nose...aaaaahhhhh NOT ON YOUR SLEEVE!" "Toys need to stay out of the toilet!" "Mommy really doesn't like it when you fill the VCR with DVDs!" "Let's go get the mail." "DO NOT eat the...(sigh) bird poop!" "Let's go back inside." "Do NOT touch that plug again!" "I said, NO more touching the buttons on the TV." "Noooooooo! Do NOT stick your finger in...(sigh) the dog's butt!" "Honey, we can't go outside again, now it's raining." "How about a lollipop...will that help?" "What's that sme....oh, come here. We need to change your diaper." "Come here." "Don't run from me." "OK..nevermind, I don't want to change your diaper anyway." "Please, come here." "Don't make me chase you. DON'T RUN WITH A LOLLIPOP IN YOUR MOUTH!" "Keep your hands up! Don't reach inside the...(sigh) poopy diaper!!!!" "No, you can't have THAT lollipop back (gag)!" "Want to make bubbles in the sink?" "Oh dear, that's glass. Here, play with these cups." ((ring, ring)) "Hello? Hi. Nothing. Sure, I have a sec. Wait, hold on." "Not in your mouth. Do not drink the soapy water." "O.K. I'm back. What were you saying? Oh, geez, hang on!" "Not the dirty dishes. Just play with the cups." "K. So, how did your thing go? Really? Wow. Crap, hang on!" "The muffins do NOT need to be washed, honey. Please!" "Sure, I can hold on." "Let's be done with bubbles. Can you hold the phone for mommy while I dry you off?" "NOOOOOOOOOO! Not in the...(sigh) ((gurgle, gurgle)) sink!" "Look, let's be done playing in the sink and tell blankie how much fun you had on our way up to bed." "Please don't headbutt Mommy. That hurts. Ow. Stop!" (mumbled) "What is on my sock? ARGH! Lollipop stick." ((in the background from under the water in the sink)) "Hellooooo? Shel??? You there????"