Tuesday, February 22, 2011

A full plate and a life's purpose...

No, I am not at an ALL YOU CAN EAT buffet. That actually sounds good until I remember all the things that VEGANS don't eat and I realize that would be a STUPID waste of money! LOL!

I am talking about the proverbial "mom plate" - No! Not the one with the grilled cheese crusts and soggy goldfish crackers - FOLLOW ME PEOPLE, I feel like I am talking to my headphone-wearing teenagers!

As moms, we all wear lots of hats. For the last 14 years, my hat has been the one of STAY-AT-HOME mom - anyone knows that is a REALLY big hat because it holds EVERYTHING you do in ONE category. I would never say that I do more or have more stress than a working mom. A working mom just has more hats...doesn't make it a contest.

I am itching to move into new hats - and I don't know if I am emotionally ready for what that means. But before I can decide if I can mentally handle a new responsibility, I need to decide WHAT that responsibility is...

Let me explain...

My passions are simple - Christian, wife, mom, teacher.
That's it.
Plain and simple, right?
NO WAY!

Besides being a mom, my most rewarding job ever was teaching Art in Room 62 at Vestal Senior High School and Room 120 at Vestal Middle School from Fall 1993- Fall 1997. At that time, I didn't have children and those kids I saw each day, those who cried in my room during lunch, those who spilled their guts to me, those I lost to suicide, those I still talk to today were my first kids. All couple hundred of them!

The trouble is, I now crave that feeling with a LARGER group of kids than those that take art class in middle or high school.

And that's why I WRITE!
And 5 years ago I started the journey to publication.

So, while I write and submit to agents and publishers, network with fellow writers and work on the many manuscripts that speak to me from the files I get drawn in to other projects that are also in the teaching vein.

*writing a teen program on RESPECT that will travel to schools, churches, teen centers
*teaching a summer art program
*writing more teen subjects
*counselling teens online
*blogging for parents (moms)
*writing and illustrating emergent reader books
*considering applying for adjunct art positions at local universities

...and the list goes on...

AND THERE IS THE PLATE!
Catch that!
Oops it's dripping!
HELP!
Ugh!
I just made a mess, didn't I?
When I close my eyes what do I see myself doing - if I could control my own destiny, which I believe I have a part in...

((((((((((((((((((insert dreamy music and wavy visuals here))))))))))))))))))

I see myself (and this is the truth) standing on stage in an auditorium.
I have a microphone.
And I have goosebumps.
I can feel the energy of the kids tuning in to what I have to say.
I can hear nothing.
The room is silent except for my voice.
Their eyes are on me and their minds are open.
Their hearts are mending.
Their brains are inspired.
...
There is applause.
My book is handed to each student as they leave the auditorium.

((((((((((((((dreamy music and wavy visuals again)))))))))))))))))))

Don't tell my husband this -
but I don't care if I ever make a CENT touching the lives of teens.

It truly is my destiny and my focus.
I just have trouble not saying "yes" to EVERY thing that falls into that category.

An agent taking a chance on me would REALLY help me focus!

So, that's it...back to square one...what I started doing 5 years ago - trying to find the needle (right manuscript) in the haystack (perfect agency/publishing house).

So, tell me.
What would complete YOU?
What is YOUR purpose while you are on this planet?

Peace out, Mamas!

2 comments:

MICHELE CERVONE SCOTT said...

I could just say "ditto" and call it a day, but that wouldn't be very original :) I actually wrote about my life's message earlier this month at http://mommyforward.blogspot.com/2011/02/when-student-is-ready.html Also, I completely agree with you that if I never made a dime, I'd be okay with that (but my husband might not be either.) Thanks for another great post!

Michelle Kemper Brownlow said...

Thanks Michele!
We are so much alike!!
:)