Help for Moms of Teens...

It has been a while since I posted here b/c I have been so busy running the program for teen girls  that has just taken off like wild fire...let me recap and let you know what has been going on...

When I first thought about writing a book for teen girls it came out of my frustration with what I was seeing on TV and hearing on the radio that was compromising the RESPECT our girls should have for themselves. How can a girl have respect for herself while she is singing, "C'mon rude boy, can you get it up...." Yep, that's our lovely Rhianna telling our girls to challenge boys in this way. So, I tried to come up with a way to describe how to HOLD onto our self-respect. One day I sat in Panera and wrote The Legend of the Butterfly Girlz.

A couple months later, I put out a status on my facebook calling for TEEN girls who would like to be my "go-to" girls while I write my book for TEEN GIRLS called, "My NET Worth: Every Girl's Guide to Catching Self-Respect & Keeping It." I wanted to have quotes, advice and anecdotes from REAL teens to make my book authentic and something a teen girl would hang onto like a security blanket. I saw this book as being a life-line. Out of that post came an amazing group of 31 teen girls who are now known as "The Butterfly Girlz."  These girls range in age from 12-18 and are from across the country. We have a PRIVATE facebook group where they are free to discuss teen issues. I post regular questions that help me to gather quotes and anecdotes for the book but at the same time their candid answers, humor and transparency is helping them forge friendships stronger than some forged within the same schools.

I saw the amazing strides these girls were taking and thought it was a crime to keep all of that good advice and support within the walls of the Butterfly Girlz group. So, I added a new PRIVATE group called "the gathering" which we opened just a couple weeks ago. We started with our 31 girls. Members of the group have the capacity to add friends and girls can request to join. We now have a working group of over 230 girls. The "Butterfly Girlz" have a large presence on this site and jump at the chance to support girls who post their heartache over a lost love, their shock at a pending divorce, etc. I am on "the gathering" for hours daily overseeing and offering advice. I have had girls say to me that they never imagined an adult would care enough to help them with their problems. That is so sad to me!

My teaching, workshops and book focus mainly on SELF-RESPECT and PERSONAL BOUNDARIES. I work with girls daily on "scripting" their responses to difficult situations. I have adapted a couple tips I have learned in the trenches of dealing with teens to suit the girls that meet me on facebook each and every day. This "scripting" exercise has been a BIG hit, girls are using it and being successful at setting boundaries that stick!

I have been running The Butterfly Girlz Blog which is a place that has newsworthy information on things that apply to teen girls. Every Friday I post a journaling exercise to get the girls who read the page a chance to hash out their thoughts on that subject for the day.

The Butterfly Girlz have also published their own mini-magazine/newsletter. Our first issue, the SUMMER issue came out at the beginning of May. Their writings, journal entries, pics, a write-in advice column and much more grace the pages of Butterfly Landing Magazine. We are open to submissions from teen girls anywhere.

I am planning to start summer workshops for young girls (ages 7-11) and teen girls (12-18). I have some workshops planned out but am open to catering workshops based on the needs of the schools, scout troops, churches inviting  me to speak.

There are so many ideas running through my head for weekend events that girls could  be doing simultaneously across the country but under the umbrella of The Butterfly Girlz! Random Acts of Kindness projects, support for storm ravages states, etc. I plan on having some events for just The Butterfly Girlz this summer where we SKYPE in the girls from other states.

Over the past couple weeks I have had moms ask if I could run programs for them b/c at times they are just at a loss for what to do with their girls or the drama that surrounds them. I have had moms calling in tears asking for advice, moms emailing and facebooking me for help...

I had no idea this was going to take off so quickly and become so HUGE. But I am so thrilled and blessed each and every day when someone "gets it" and I can see the proverbial light bulb click on. These girls are treasures that can not be "blown off" anymore. They have something to say, their problems are real, the media is feeding them CRAP through everyone of their senses. Boys are telling them, "it's ok, just let me show you" and they are falling for it. Girls as young as 12 are having babies, suicide attempts are now trickling down into our elementary schools and I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!

This is my contribution to the next generation and I IMPLORE you to help me spread the word. This book needs an agent and publisher, I need to branch out and speak around the country to groups of girls who are losing grip on the end of their rope. I need to do interviews, I need connections with talk radio stations. I want to save lives, I want to empower girls, I want to DREAM with them, I want them to see their potential. I want them to succeed. I want them to hold onto their butterflies and RISE ABOVE THE MUCK!

Please help me take this around the world.

Thank you for helping me inspire our FUTURE with what I have learned from all the amazing moms in my  life - and yes, that includes you!

THANK YOU!

A full plate and a life's purpose...

No, I am not at an ALL YOU CAN EAT buffet. That actually sounds good until I remember all the things that VEGANS don't eat and I realize that would be a STUPID waste of money! LOL!

I am talking about the proverbial "mom plate" - No! Not the one with the grilled cheese crusts and soggy goldfish crackers - FOLLOW ME PEOPLE, I feel like I am talking to my headphone-wearing teenagers!

As moms, we all wear lots of hats. For the last 14 years, my hat has been the one of STAY-AT-HOME mom - anyone knows that is a REALLY big hat because it holds EVERYTHING you do in ONE category. I would never say that I do more or have more stress than a working mom. A working mom just has more hats...doesn't make it a contest.

I am itching to move into new hats - and I don't know if I am emotionally ready for what that means. But before I can decide if I can mentally handle a new responsibility, I need to decide WHAT that responsibility is...

Let me explain...

My passions are simple - Christian, wife, mom, teacher.
That's it.
Plain and simple, right?
NO WAY!

Besides being a mom, my most rewarding job ever was teaching Art in Room 62 at Vestal Senior High School and Room 120 at Vestal Middle School from Fall 1993- Fall 1997. At that time, I didn't have children and those kids I saw each day, those who cried in my room during lunch, those who spilled their guts to me, those I lost to suicide, those I still talk to today were my first kids. All couple hundred of them!

The trouble is, I now crave that feeling with a LARGER group of kids than those that take art class in middle or high school.

And that's why I WRITE!
And 5 years ago I started the journey to publication.

So, while I write and submit to agents and publishers, network with fellow writers and work on the many manuscripts that speak to me from the files I get drawn in to other projects that are also in the teaching vein.

*writing a teen program on RESPECT that will travel to schools, churches, teen centers
*teaching a summer art program
*writing more teen subjects
*counselling teens online
*blogging for parents (moms)
*writing and illustrating emergent reader books
*considering applying for adjunct art positions at local universities

...and the list goes on...

AND THERE IS THE PLATE!
Catch that!
Oops it's dripping!
HELP!
Ugh!
I just made a mess, didn't I?
When I close my eyes what do I see myself doing - if I could control my own destiny, which I believe I have a part in...

((((((((((((((((((insert dreamy music and wavy visuals here))))))))))))))))))

I see myself (and this is the truth) standing on stage in an auditorium.
I have a microphone.
And I have goosebumps.
I can feel the energy of the kids tuning in to what I have to say.
I can hear nothing.
The room is silent except for my voice.
Their eyes are on me and their minds are open.
Their hearts are mending.
Their brains are inspired.
...
There is applause.
My book is handed to each student as they leave the auditorium.

((((((((((((((dreamy music and wavy visuals again)))))))))))))))))))

Don't tell my husband this -
but I don't care if I ever make a CENT touching the lives of teens.

It truly is my destiny and my focus.
I just have trouble not saying "yes" to EVERY thing that falls into that category.

An agent taking a chance on me would REALLY help me focus!

So, that's it...back to square one...what I started doing 5 years ago - trying to find the needle (right manuscript) in the haystack (perfect agency/publishing house).

So, tell me.
What would complete YOU?
What is YOUR purpose while you are on this planet?

Peace out, Mamas!

As they say...WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW...

What do I know?

I know that fads and trends and the coming and going of them are a way of life for kids. Three years ago if you would have told an elementary student that wearing jeans UNDER his buttocks was the cool thing to do, he would have shot you the infamous, "Get real, Mom!" look. Today, that same child is walking like he just got off a horse trying to keep his pants up.

One day my youngest will play with Play Doh unattended for a longer period of time and I think I have found the piece de resistance. SO, the next day I plan a major cleaning project and figure I will just get out the Play Doh. WRONG! Play Doh is "so yesterday!"

My oldest will tell me to sign him up for Fall soccer after watching his old team win a game on the soccer fields that border our property. Then the next day he is searching for skateboards online because at some point during the night Tony Hawk and Ryan Sheckler have become his heroes...and THEY don't have time for soccer.

My daughter, on the other hand seems to stay even keel for longer periods of time. If she likes mustard today, I can pretty much bet she will still like it tomorrow. However she is starting to feel the need to 'keep up with the Jones's' when it comes to fashion. She has made sure I know that SHE WANTS SKINNY JEANS. She is all about Aeropostale and Hollister (mind you, we have NEVER bought a full price item in either store - SALES only!). I have also noticed a bit of "sass" in her voice when I hear her talking to her friends. Hmmmm. Not so sure I am going to be good with this mom of two 'tweens thing. Well, I have a couple years to get ready...or medication!

So, I was moved to write the other day and I wrote...and wrote...with a toddler on my lap watching YouTube videos of monster trucks, I wrote...while the whole neighborhood played HORSE in our driveway, I wrote. The next day, I put everyone on the bus, got myself a cup of tea and I pruned my word and got them into manuscript form.

I don't want to pat myself on the back and I don't want to give too much away but I wrote the sweetest book with an feisty little duck (I am working on the images of him, too) with a preschool/early elementary version of an identity crisis. All I have been able to think about for the last three days is sitting in the midst of elementary kids, eyes glued to the images of Duck trying out other identities and making my mark on this world.

Inspiring children to be all that they can be is my purpose in this life! I am certain it is why I breathe. It is what I live. It is what I know!

Take a deeeeeep breath...

*some fun news @ the end of this post!* 'Tis the Season, right? Isn't that a shame? I am very disappointed in myself for allowing the WORLD to get in the way of my staying focused on what this season is truly about. I KNOW what it is about, I know WHY we celebrate Christmas and it has NOTHING to do with Santa!

But my poor scheduling has gotten in the way. The first week of December is when I was supposed to have my daughter's 10th birthday invitations out. Problem being I was making props for a Christmas Program and totally lost track of that window of opportunity. So, what's the harm in putting it off another week, right?

Her birthday is December 21st so I always try to do something first thing in December so her guests are not thinking about anything other than THEIR FAMILY'S celebrations right around the holidays. But, because I was up to my armpits in foam core and glitter glue the first week of December, we postponed the invitation project for a week.

What I didn't do was check my calendar. Had I consulted my schedule I would have seen that my Homeroom Mom responsibilities would be called upon on the same day I would need to be preparing my house for a 9-little-girl sleepover! 2 of the 3 boys in our house RUN FOR THE HILLS when there is a girlie party so I also have to pack for them and wrap gifts for those family members they will be visiting while my house fills with ESTROGEN. Do little girls have estrogen? I think they do, right? Well, you know what I mean!

So, I can blame no one but myself for my recent chaos and hanging-from-a-thread panic! And I want to thank you, my readers, for taking the time to advise me in the comments from yesterday! Thanks to you, I have ordered take-out for every night for the remainder of 2008 and said "no" to 47 people who asked me to do something in the last 24 hours! I have also forwarded your email addresses to those people and told them YOU were the reason I said, "no!"

I have some GREAT news:

I had a wonderful email surprise this week! I am completely humbled!

As most of you know I am an inspirational/humor columnist on the side (I say on the side because it is completely a PRO-BONO gig..no pay). I love writing for our local paper! I get so much feedback from the community for my Friday columns. I have received gifts, phone calls and emails from complete strangers. I made an appointment at the vet yesterday and couldn't get off the phone because the receptionist went on and on and on about how she practically RUNS to the mailbox on Fridays to see what I wrote. I have even had strangers recognize me from the goofy photo that accompanies the title of my column, The Gift of Gab. One woman saw my puzzled look as I wondered HOW she knew my name as she giggled and said, "Sorry. You are hanging on my fridge, I read you every week. I feel like I know you!"

It's really an amazing feeling touch the lives of strangers just by using a God-given gift! It's fun to blabber on and on and get a quick giggle here and there! Now that's a "job" I can do forever!

Anyway, this week I was getting my email and of course, as a writer with submissions in a plethora of editor and agent inboxes, I am always looking for a WE WANT YOUR BOOK in the subject line. Those words weren't there but the words, "Your Column" were.

The Children's Ministry Director of a HUGE local church was wondering if I did any local speaking engagements (I have, but not recently) and if I could come speak at a Mom's event in January! Um, YES!!!!! She went on to say that she has used my "material" from my column in their Mom's Bible Study. Woah! Now there is a compliment, right?!

God is really showing me a THEME and I am thrilled to put my children's book manuscripts on hold and glorify Him by following His lead. My platform for over two years has been Moms through my blog and my column. I have has tens of thousands of readers and a file folder full of "fan" mail. I have been brought to tears by the letters people have written and that is why I do what I do.

So, I will be saying "no" to anything that does not fit into the WRITING for MOMS category (except for re-writing our church website (Courtney) b/c I have had the promise out there for like a million weeks and haven't started it yet!). And because writing is my passion, I have a couple MOM BOOKS floating around in my head...now i just need to pump up my readership because agents and editors are looking for LARGE readership to build a fan base on.

What would you like to see in a SEMBLANCE of SANITY book?

A little snippet here and a little snippet there...

For those of you who have read more than just yesterday's post, you know along with being a freelance writer, blogger and columnist, I am also an aspiring children's writer. (I am an artist, too, but not sure I am ready to take on the job of author/illustrator) Now that my readership has escalated to heights not before seen on MY SEMBLANCE OF SANITY (although not crazy huge like some of my MommyBloggingFriends) I thought it would be fun to give you some snippets of a couple children's books I have written and get your feedback... If you have never commeted before, please let me know you are out there...I am curious as to how many people are included in those red "blips" on my Worldwide Fan map to the left. Here's a peek into the CRAZY mind of a children's author!! excerpt from GABBY VON CLOUTH, CAN'T SHUT HER MOUTH: Gabby Von Clouth was always busy. She was the teacher’s pet. She sharpened all the pencils before her friends got to school. She tidied the cubbies and sorted the mail. Miss Gooseberry was a tad flighty and was thrilled to have the extra help. One hectic morning she opened the craft closet and to find all of the art supplies in alphabetical order. “Did you see what I did for you? It was hard work but I did it! Aren’t you lucky to have me Miss Gooseberry?” It never failed, right after her random act of kindness Gabby looked around to see who noticed and who was ready to make a big deal out of it. She wanted a “Thank You,” a “You’re Great,” and maybe even a “You have made my day!” excerpt from HAPPY FIRST DAY: She gladly took the spot of last in line and quietly walked down the peaceful hallway. No one seemed to notice her. Good. Suddenly, like a centipede, step by step the single file line turned right and one by one they entered the classroom. The lights were off. It took awhile for Emma’s eyes to adjust from the bright hallway to the dimly lit classroom. There was music…were the other children singing? There was a warm glow coming from the center of the room. There, on a small desk was a cake with glowing candles. Emma was confused, she didn’t move and she certainly didn’t sing. What were they doing? What were they singing? “Happy First Day to you, Happy First Day to you, Happy First Day dear Emma, Happy First Day to you!” All of this fuss was for her? Never in any other school, and she had been to many, had her first day been treated like a class holiday. Mrs. King was smiling with her hands clasped over her heart. She was proud of her students and it showed. excerpt from HENRIETTA HAMSTERFACE: “Too slow, Lost the race. Henrietta Hamster Face! Loser, How’s it feel? Get back in your hamster wheel!” Maggie McCall, a slender girl with long red fingernails, spun on her heel and flipped her hair the way popular girls do as she glanced back at Henrietta who was sitting in a cloud of dust. She adjusted her small oval glasses, wiped her pointy nose, pulled her sweater closed to cover her “Hamsters are People, too” shirt and smoothed her skirt over her slightly rounded body. Henrietta climbed to her feet and walked to the back door of the school. Maggie and her crew had tricked Henrietta into thinking if she won the race to the dirt mound she would be an honorary member of the “Star Crowd;” that’s what Maggie and her pretty friends called themselves. The whistle blew and the fourth-graders filed into the school. Henrietta slid into the last place in line and sulked down the hall wondering if there would ever be a day she would be a star. excerpt from HOME IS WHERE THE LOVE IS: Javan sat quietly staring at the words on the blackboard; “Home is where…”He squeezed his eyes shut and mouthed a quick prayer for courage as the impending chaos blew through the door. What seemed to be a hundred fifth-graders moved into the room all at once. They chatted and laughed as they rumbled past Javan’s desk. His heart pounded so hard he could hear it over the racket of the students so obviously comfortable with life, themselves, their school, and their friends. Comfortable. Javan was anything but. This was his second day at Augustus Elementary and he still didn’t know where the bathroom was or how he would complete the sentence on the board. He was lost; in more ways than one. *********************************************************************************** OK...back to work...that was my creative way of geting out of staring at the blank page which is also the start of the final copy of book 3 of my series that is out at HarperCollins....please let the phone ring! :)

I got some 'splainin' to do...

Well, I had someone email me to comment on how much she enjoys what I write on my blog (thanks Rebecca) and she was wondering (because my title of my blog is yada-yada-yada-writes 4 kids) if I had ever published anything that she could read. So, I figured if she was wondering, maybe all my great commenters were up at night, tossing and turning, wondering the same thing. I DO write and have been published many times...but mostly for adults. I write a lot for regional parenting magazines like About Families (PA), MetroKids (DE), Parent Magazine (TN), KidsVT, Pittsburg Parent, Family (NJ), Indy's Child, Charlotte Parent (SC), Parenting New Hampshire, San Diego Parent, and a couple big time magazines like Fostering Families Today and Relate Magazine for girls. I have also written crafts for ParentZone.com. Most of what I write is out of my passion for children. I write articles that keep kids healthy, keep families connected and creative in the way they deal with life. I have a pile of rejection slips that I have been collecting for almost two years now from a vast array of children's book manuscripts. Some people say to throw them away b/c they will ultimately bring you down and you will give up the ship. Not me. I actually have a file right in my file cabinet labelled "rejections" so that when I am published and children across the country are giggling at my words, I can encourage other aspiring authors by saying, "I collected 4,937 rejections before getting published!" I truly don't have that many although my ego may argue that depending on how many I pull from the mailbox that day. I recently attended the SCBWI (Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators) Fall Philly Conference and made some great connections! I now am awaiting a response from an editor at HarperCollins in regards to the first in a series of really quirky, fun picture books. Send up some prayers for me if you are the praying type (I am). I dream of touching the lives of as many children as I can before my time on this planet expires. So, there ya go! That's my mission in a nut shell! I am off to get a shower in the remaining minutes of the baby's nap so that I can take the big kids to a book signing with Elizabeth Kann, author of Pinkalicious and Purplicious. Throw those names in at Amazon.com and you will fall in love with her!! Have a creative day!