Thursday, October 8, 2009

Sanity's BLOGTOBER TIP PARADE: 10/08 Respect!

The past week we have enjoyed a laugh or two with some silly anecdotes and funny posts regarding motherhood and all it's "woah is me" moments. Thank you to those of you who have joined the TIP PARADE! I have enjoyed knowing that you are all at least having fun with this.

Well, this TIP POST is going to be a little more serious....actually, A LOT more serious....thanks to Dr. Phil. Did any of you watch his show yesterday? TEEN SEX TRENDS should be something EVERY mother, father, aunt, uncle, teacher, administrator, doctor, nurse, counsellor, coach, Sunday School teacher, pastor watches. Yes, it will turn your stomach. It might even make you cry. But it could save a child's life!

I want to publicly THANK Dr. Phil for doing this show. His concern for children and their welfare is astounding and even though I am sure a show like this was less than "fun" he did it to get the word out about what is going on INSIDE our schools and AT HOME and EVERYWHERE you can imagine.

In his own words, Dr. Phil says, "We’ve made a commitment here at the Dr. Phil show to keep parents informed. I have said that I want you to be ahead of the curve. You don’t want to be the last one to find out what teens are up to in this day and time," he says. "If kids are coming up with new games, new drugs, new habits or patterns that are putting them in harm’s way, I’m going to find out what it is. I’m going to bring it here. I’m going to tell you about it. You’re not always going to want to hear about it, but I am going to tell you the truth."

In short, this show was outlining the new sex trends for teens and tweens...yes I said tweens! Did you know over 50% of boys AND girls between the ages of 15 and 19 have participated in oral sex? Do you know that a reality at school dances and Prom is to engage in intercourse ON THE DANCE FLOOR! When I heard this I texted a friend and said, "WTH?" She knew first hand that this was happening at one of her local schools.

I bet you are wondering HOW.... How can you secretly be having sex on a dance floor without a chaperone knowing? If you can't figure it out then you haven't been present in enough of the activities your child is participating in. Dancing has changed. Society has changed. So much so that the gyrating and bump-n-grinding that was NOT acceptable 10 years ago, is just brushed off now as "just how they dance." Shame on you! Shame on ME! Shame on everyone who is responsible for how out of hand this epidemic has gotten!

Ironically enough, the day before watching the Dr. Phil show I spent almost an hour on the phone with Annie Fox. If you and your teen/tween don't know her, YOU NEED TO! This woman is AMAZING and has a heart for middle and high school students that is bigger than most of the hearts that actually touch these kids lives on a daily basis INSIDE the schools! Annie is changing the world one kid at a time! She has even made one of her books a FREE downloadable e-Book that I think everyone should print out and make sure your guidance counselor has it! Go check out The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating! She should join Dr. Phil the next time he does one of these teen/tween topics.

So, my head was already filled with ideas and my passions were flaring for this age group I used to teach in public school and currently teach on a volunteer basis. I decided I needed to somehow use my gifts of speaking/writing/teaching/art to make a difference. Then, yesterday I was enjoying my youngest's longer-than-usual nap with a cup of coffee and the remote...something we moms RARELY do. I heard the "have your children leave the room" segment before the TV had even warmed up enough to show a picture. My curiosity was piqued. I put the remote down.

The book they discussed was THIS ONE. Yep. Reality sucks! Sharlene Azam did a fantastic job writing this and producing her documentary.

An hour later my sister, a HS guidance counsellor, texted me, "Get the kids out of the room and turn on Dr. Phil." Her curiosity was piqued as well, and she sat through the second airing of the TEEN SEX TRENDS show. I waited for the phone to ring. She was astonished that even though she is with HS kids everyday and thought she had seen/heard it all, there were still things she would never DREAM kids would be brazen enough to do.

Bottom line... my sister and I decided that the missing piece is as simple as R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Why are we not teaching this? Why are 12 year old girls having sex at parties? Why do I see thongs for sale in teeny-bopper stores? Why do I cringe when I overhear the way girls "come on" to MIDDLE SCHOOL? Because, we, as parents, are failing an entire GENERATION!

Let me say that again!


Sound harsh? Well, reality usually is!

I will soon be launching a blog where teens can spill their guts, confess, share their hearts, get mad, fight back and BE HEARD! We are NOT LISTENING! When it gets tough, it's easy to just chalk it up to "changing times."

I will also be interviewing students (anonymously if they prefer) about what makes them tick. What makes them associate SEX with fitting in? What makes them go that ONE STEP TOO FAR?

I have 1/2 of a notebook filled with what needs to be said in auditoriums across the country to smack on sense into these floundering children...for crying out loud they are children!

Don't pass the buck. WE ARE TO BLAME! We allow our kids into a world they have no business being because we are too freaking busy at work or too freaking lazy to care! No one is home. They are taking on the world ALONE because we chase the ALMIGHTY DOLLAR!

Don't look away. This travesty is just around your corner. I promise. Don't deny it. Look deeper. Get involved. Save a life. It might just be YOUR child's life you save.

Whew....anyone got tips? Leave 'em. I've got a travelling in-school program to plan!

If you have a teen or tween in your life...take this post VIRAL! Send it to anyone who needs to CARE! And pray they will!

(Go to a previous post to find out the guidelines of how to join in the TIP PARADE, I am too exhausted to type any more....)



Sharon Harris said...

As a mom who's "been there" with my kids, I advise moms "If youhave to choose between staying at home when your kids are little or staying at home when they get older, choose the latter" In the area in which I live, day cares no longer accept children once they are in middle school. That is the time these kids need the MOST supervision. If you think a 13 year old can't get into much trouble in the half hour between the time they get off the school bus and the time you get home from work, think again! When and why did kids start thinking the oral sex is not sex?

!!The Obnoxious SAHM!! said...

Hi there Michelle,

I have DVR'd this program and the trailer scared me to pieces. I have kids who are only 6 and 4 and I know that those high alert days are soon coming.

I am anxious to see the show and discussion is a good thing. My friend has a teenage son and she is in total agreement with you and that is why she hasn't gotten a job. She also has a 10 year old.

Good post.
Obnoxious :)

CraftyMomof3 said...

Michelle I couldn't agree with you more. Respect is a fading thing right now with this new group of kids growing up.

I work in the lunch room in my child's school and during lunch the 4th and 5th grade boys heckle the middle schoolers as they walk by. (we have a shared school). I would NEVER at that age done that. I would have been to scared to. I asked them if they realize that they have to go to school with them next year and their response is "what are they going to do?" Scary. Yes these kids may be protected in school but they are in sports and clubs with these older kids outside of school. I fear for their safety really. Good judgment seems to be fading as well. An older kid could make an example of them just to fit in.

Anyways, sorry I haven't been joining the tip parade really. I am doped up on cold meds with a house full of sick children. I'm feeling very witty this week! :)

I am going to repost this though. good topic.

Ginny Williams said...

Wacky world adventures of the Williams family: Thank you Dr Phil

I wasnt going to post on my site at all about Dr Phil, but after your post, I knew I had to.

Annie said...

Thanks for this post, Michelle. I agree that we all need to do a better job paying attention and making absolutely sure that your kids know where we stand on the issues and the behavior they see all around them. Making our expectations known doesn't guarantee that teens and tweens will always make healthy choices (as if!), but having your voice in their head helps make them stop and think. Sometimes that's all they need to do to make better choices. Along with knowing our expectations, they need to know what are the consequences for choosing to blow off your rules. btw, here's the link to the free download of Teen Survival Guide

thoughts and ramblings said...

Hi Michelle. Email me....I actually JUST finished a book that discussed this very shocked the crap out of me!!! I have 2 young girls...and I seriously want to just lock them up for 20 years!!!

I'd love to share some of what I read. my email address is:

anne (dot) elliott (at) att (dot) net

talk to you soon!

Anonymous said...

Michelle, thank you. This mission seems like a perfect fit for your talents. You will really make a difference.