WHAT? Wednesday: How do YOU spell BREAST CANCER awareness?

What do you get when you post the color of your bra, where you put your purse and your shoe size on facebook?

Well, duh, BREAST CANCER SUPPORT, right? Isn't it obvious? Notsomuch!

A couple years ago when the requests came out on facebook to post the color of your bra in your status to show your support for Breast Cancer, it seemed harmless enough. Bras and breasts are connected. It was a creative thematic game. Cool.

Then last year it was the place in the house where you leave your purse. I raised an eyebrow at this one b/c I wasn't sure what in the world this had to do with Breast Cancer. And then when I saw all the statuses, 'On the counter,' 'Next to my bed,' 'On the table,' I thought.... "Is anyone seeing the innuendos, here?" Being that I had been teaching in children's ministry for 8 years and my friends list was filled with parents of the girls I taught, I figured this was a game I would just quietly decline playing. But, I had to wonder how in the world that was raising awareness for Breast Cancer.

The newest request is circulating and many women have sent me this, "You need to write your shoe size, (just the number) followed by the word 'inches' and then sad face. Remember the first year so many people took part of this and made national news. The constant updating of status reminded everyone why we're doing this and helped raise awareness!! Do NOT tell any males what the status's mean, keep them guessing!!"

Are you kidding me? This infuriated me but I calmly respond to each request with, "Sorry ladies, as a mentor for teen girls who is always harping on them abt being appropriate on facebook, I will have to pass. :)"

I was, however, impressed that many women declined saying it was disrespectful to their husbands and although they support Breast Cancer, they would not be taking part in this "game."

This morning when I saw some of the teen girls I mentor getting involved in this game, I was fit to be tied! I spend HOURS... literally HOURS... every day texting, IMing and chatting with teen girls who are trying to navigate this world we live in and they are getting lost by the hundreds.

Girls will tell me they wish boys would talk to their eyes and not their breasts and they can't figure out how to gain the respect they deserve. Later I see their statuses and realize the lyrics to the song they posts sends the "you don't have to respect me, just love me" message! I am constantly reminding them that facebook can be used as a peek into where their boundaries are set.

So, now, through this brilliant idea for Breast Cancer Awareness, they are telling hundreds of boys at a time, who have no FLIPPING idea what their status really means, that they have measured the PENIS of the last boy they were with.... and they were disappointed!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Ladies!!!!! LADIES!!! Can we NOT set better examples for our girls? Why must everything come back to SEX? Why is this what you are choosing to taint Breast Cancer Awareness with - cheap sex.

Last year when every boy in the US had those stupid (I know someone will flame me for this) I ♥ BOOBIES bracelets, I wanted to carry scissors with me at all times and cut them off the wrists of everyone I saw with one.

Scoring the almighty dollar for Breast Cancer at the expense of exploiting young girls and their bodies is DISGUSTING! I was horrified! HORRIFIED! I wish there was a way to measure the percentage of high school boys who TRULY bought those bracelets b/c they wanted to support Breast Cancer - I am sure there were some. But I am also sure, beyond a doubt, that wearing a I ♥ BOOBIES bracelet to school and not having to take it off b/c it was for Breast Cancer really thrilled most of them. I was standing and clapping each time I saw on the news that another school district banned them.

I also couldn't help wondering how these bracelets affected the many women who have gone through mastectomies because of Breast Cancer... people wearing I ♥ BOOBIES bracelets when theirs are gone couldn't have felt good. Just a reminder, once again, of the importance our society puts on sex and how inadequate it feels when part of what makes you a sexual being is GONE. GONE. Did the makers of these bracelets think of THIS? Nope... the almighty dollar won out AGAIN. Surprise, surprise!

Ladies! We are being watched. Our daughters and the girls in our lives are watching us as their gage for HOW to be. What are we choosing to show them? Sure, in adult company, a good sexual innuendo joke gets some big laughs... but let's get real here... when did we start thinking these things were OK to do in front of kids?

What did those boys learn about Breast Cancer by wearing those bracelets?

What are our girls learning today by posting "inches" on their status? 

You can stick up for this game all you want, "It's all in fun, no one's getting hurt" - but when a boy exposes himself to your daughter b/c of herstatus to show her he is bigger than the "inches" she posted - then what will you think of this game?

Sanity's BLOGTOBER TIP PARADE: 10/08 Respect!

The past week we have enjoyed a laugh or two with some silly anecdotes and funny posts regarding motherhood and all it's "woah is me" moments. Thank you to those of you who have joined the TIP PARADE! I have enjoyed knowing that you are all at least having fun with this.

Well, this TIP POST is going to be a little more serious....actually, A LOT more serious....thanks to Dr. Phil. Did any of you watch his show yesterday? TEEN SEX TRENDS should be something EVERY mother, father, aunt, uncle, teacher, administrator, doctor, nurse, counsellor, coach, Sunday School teacher, pastor watches. Yes, it will turn your stomach. It might even make you cry. But it could save a child's life!

I want to publicly THANK Dr. Phil for doing this show. His concern for children and their welfare is astounding and even though I am sure a show like this was less than "fun" he did it to get the word out about what is going on INSIDE our schools and AT HOME and EVERYWHERE you can imagine.

In his own words, Dr. Phil says, "We’ve made a commitment here at the Dr. Phil show to keep parents informed. I have said that I want you to be ahead of the curve. You don’t want to be the last one to find out what teens are up to in this day and time," he says. "If kids are coming up with new games, new drugs, new habits or patterns that are putting them in harm’s way, I’m going to find out what it is. I’m going to bring it here. I’m going to tell you about it. You’re not always going to want to hear about it, but I am going to tell you the truth."

In short, this show was outlining the new sex trends for teens and tweens...yes I said tweens! Did you know over 50% of boys AND girls between the ages of 15 and 19 have participated in oral sex? Do you know that a reality at school dances and Prom is to engage in intercourse ON THE DANCE FLOOR! When I heard this I texted a friend and said, "WTH?" She knew first hand that this was happening at one of her local schools.

I bet you are wondering HOW.... How can you secretly be having sex on a dance floor without a chaperone knowing? If you can't figure it out then you haven't been present in enough of the activities your child is participating in. Dancing has changed. Society has changed. So much so that the gyrating and bump-n-grinding that was NOT acceptable 10 years ago, is just brushed off now as "just how they dance." Shame on you! Shame on ME! Shame on everyone who is responsible for how out of hand this epidemic has gotten!

Ironically enough, the day before watching the Dr. Phil show I spent almost an hour on the phone with Annie Fox. If you and your teen/tween don't know her, YOU NEED TO! This woman is AMAZING and has a heart for middle and high school students that is bigger than most of the hearts that actually touch these kids lives on a daily basis INSIDE the schools! Annie is changing the world one kid at a time! She has even made one of her books a FREE downloadable e-Book that I think everyone should print out and make sure your guidance counselor has it! Go check out The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating! She should join Dr. Phil the next time he does one of these teen/tween topics.

So, my head was already filled with ideas and my passions were flaring for this age group I used to teach in public school and currently teach on a volunteer basis. I decided I needed to somehow use my gifts of speaking/writing/teaching/art to make a difference. Then, yesterday I was enjoying my youngest's longer-than-usual nap with a cup of coffee and the remote...something we moms RARELY do. I heard the "have your children leave the room" segment before the TV had even warmed up enough to show a picture. My curiosity was piqued. I put the remote down.

The book they discussed was THIS ONE. Yep. Reality sucks! Sharlene Azam did a fantastic job writing this and producing her documentary.

An hour later my sister, a HS guidance counsellor, texted me, "Get the kids out of the room and turn on Dr. Phil." Her curiosity was piqued as well, and she sat through the second airing of the TEEN SEX TRENDS show. I waited for the phone to ring. She was astonished that even though she is with HS kids everyday and thought she had seen/heard it all, there were still things she would never DREAM kids would be brazen enough to do.

Bottom line... my sister and I decided that the missing piece is as simple as R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Why are we not teaching this? Why are 12 year old girls having sex at parties? Why do I see thongs for sale in teeny-bopper stores? Why do I cringe when I overhear the way girls "come on" to boys...in MIDDLE SCHOOL? Because, we, as parents, are failing an entire GENERATION!

Let me say that again!

WE, AS PARENTS, ARE FAILING AN ENTIRE GENERATION!

Sound harsh? Well, reality usually is!

I will soon be launching a blog where teens can spill their guts, confess, share their hearts, get mad, fight back and BE HEARD! We are NOT LISTENING! When it gets tough, it's easy to just chalk it up to "changing times."

I will also be interviewing students (anonymously if they prefer) about what makes them tick. What makes them associate SEX with fitting in? What makes them go that ONE STEP TOO FAR?

I have 1/2 of a notebook filled with what needs to be said in auditoriums across the country to smack on sense into these floundering children...for crying out loud they are children!

Don't pass the buck. WE ARE TO BLAME! We allow our kids into a world they have no business being because we are too freaking busy at work or too freaking lazy to care! No one is home. They are taking on the world ALONE because we chase the ALMIGHTY DOLLAR!

Don't look away. This travesty is just around your corner. I promise. Don't deny it. Look deeper. Get involved. Save a life. It might just be YOUR child's life you save.

Whew....anyone got tips? Leave 'em. I've got a travelling in-school program to plan!

If you have a teen or tween in your life...take this post VIRAL! Send it to anyone who needs to CARE! And pray they will!

(Go to a previous post to find out the guidelines of how to join in the TIP PARADE, I am too exhausted to type any more....)

Peace.