I found my son's journal...he's on to me!

Dear Journal, I think I have an Octo-mom. There is no other explanation. She is always getting more done than seems humanly possible. The woman’s got tentacles, I just know it. I haven’t caught her using them but it is just a matter of time. I need to gather more evidence. ------------------------ Dear Journal, me again, I am hiding under the covers supposed to be going to sleep. Minutes ago while she was helping with my math homework, my mom also fed the baby, painted her toenails and paid some bills. I was sitting right there for crying out loud! I saw nothing. She is one sneaky cephalopod! ----------------------- Dear Journal, Today was my mom’s birthday. I drew her an underwater picture at school. When I gave it to her she said, “Thank you, I love the ocean!” Hmmmmmmmmmmm. And, if that wasn’t enough, Dad took her out for dinner … THE SEAFOOD BUFFET! She smelled fishy when she kissed me goodnight. (Yuck!) I can only imagine how much an octopus can eat. ---------------------- Dear Journal, I am setting my alarm for 6am to try and get a peek at how my mom gets her chores done every morning. Maybe I will catch her in the act. Maybe an extra arm will slip out. Maybe? ---------------------- Hi Journal, I hit the snooze button this morning and almost missed the bus so I didn’t have any time to spy on my mom. But when I got home there was a new flowerbed planted by my playhouse. My mom said she had some “help.” I am picturing that – I bet her helpers had suction cups! ---------------------- Dear Journal, I am freaking out about his Octo-Mom thing. I was just thinking…if my mom is an octopus…what am I? What about my dad? Oh dear, I think I am going to need another journal. --------------------- Just Me, Journal, She outdid herself today but not a single suction cup was spotted! We had company for dinner and the dishwasher broke. My mom washed all the dishes, took time to have tea with the guests, checked my homework, bathed my brother and put us to bed. I am tired just thinking about it. I guess octopuses have a lot of energy. Ugh! Good Night. ---------------------- Dear Journal, My mom wore a poncho today. She’s not really all that stylish so I am a little more suspicious than usual. She’s definitely hiding something! (or somethings) ---------------------- Dear Journal, Today my class went to the library and browsed the non-fiction section. I picked an ocean book and read that octopuses change color and shoot ink when they are mad. Whoa! Ink. My mom turned bright red when I showed the mailman where I got my shot but I didn’t see any ink. Nope. No ink. ---------------------- Dear Journal, Today I fell off my bike. My mom dropped the groceries to come help me up. She carried me inside and bandaged my knees. With eight legs you’d think she would have gotten the groceries put away, too. Hmmmmmmmmm. She’s slacking. ---------------------- Dear Journal, My teacher asked my mom to make cupcakes for the bake sale. I watched her put it on the calendar. she realized she was also making granola for my soccer snack the same day. She smiled and grabbed some ingredients from the pantry. I guess it’s not a difficult task…if you’ve got eight extra arms! ---------------------- O.K. Journal, This is hard work. I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever prove my mom’s an underwater sea creature. She hugs like she has eight arms but I have only ever seen two. ---------------------- Dear Journal, Today at school I read that octopuses are completely deaf. I am stumped because this is not the case with my mom, she hears everything! Even when she is talking on the phone. Gasp. I wonder if her friends are octopuses, too. ----------------------- Dear Journal, At dinner my mom told my dad that while the baby slept she dusted the whole house “from floor to ceiling.” My human mom can’t reach the ceiling but I guess an “octo-mom” can. ------------------------ Dear Journal, My mom and I just read a book together. Snuggling with her makes me feel sleepy. I think I read that Octopuses are cold blooded but my mom felt cozy warm. I didn’t see any tentacles either…and I was looking. ----------------------- Dear Journal, This is the last page and I still haven’t solved the mystery. IS MY MOM AND OCTOPUS? I guess it doesn’t make a difference. She is still my mom. Even if she is an octopus – she is MY octopus and I love her, all of her! P.S. Wait aliens could have lots of arms. Could my mom be an alien? Oh no! Now I really need a new journal!

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OK, it's not REALLY my son's journal...just one of the picture books I have written that has gotten enough rejections to wallpaper a room with. Oh well. I have about 30 more where that came from...back to the drawing board!