Thursday, September 18, 2008

The Circus is HERE...a CONTEST!

"Ladies and gentleman, children of all ages...."
I don't know about you but my house is like a FRIPPIN CIRCUS on most days! Somehow, probably because no one else wanted the job, I became the ringmaster. It's kind of like that phenomenon in gym class when the two popular kids get to pick teams and you are the last one picked. Well, apparently I am the least popular person in my house and I ended up with the proverbial shortest straw!
So, on any given day I wipe butts which I think is similar to the guy with the shovel that follows the elephants around. I try NOT to feed my kids as much fiber as an elephant so I can stay on top of that job. And only one is still in diapers so I think I am good. I think I got this down.
Because I can wipe a butt, make a sandwich, clean the toilet, feed the dog, do a craft, sing a song and talk on the phone all at the same time...I think I qualify for the resident ACROBAT as well. Oh, that's just great...RINGMASTER AND NO ONE ELSE qualified for either of these jobs? Let me gather their resumes...
kid #1 - um, no...
kid #2 - nope...
kid #3 - yeah, right...
my dear hubby - BWAAAA HAAAA snort giggle giggle! Crap! It really IS all on me!
So, I was left to deal with the following things (and the reason I have not been blogging) just this week.
We had an injury...
the alligator was wrestling with the kids and my youngest tried to feed him the Polly Pockets and "he bite bite!" At least that's the story I got.
It's a more exciting story than what really happened which was simply a 3 year-old finding the tape in the junk drawer and pulling the end for all he was worth. While chasing him around the island in the kitchen and around the table and into the living room the tape wrapped itself around his flailing arms! Not funny. If it wouldn't have been cutting off the circulation to his hand I would have made him keep it on to show him it was a silly idea. And, it may have kept him still as he would have STUCK to something and I could have finished dinner.
Then there was the flood... In the kitchen. While I was otheriwse occupied and only a few steps away my son decided to play Noah without his ark. He was innocently playing in the sink which keeps him occupied and he loves it and is usually good about NOT making a mess (except for that one time when he realized the faucet is actually a hose you can pull out and aim). Today, he chose a coffee mug as his weapon and he filled and dumped. Apparently he dumped a couple times but because I had a towel on the floor I didn't hear the splat. I didn't hear until the WAVE came!
Apple Coring 101... was, I thought, my breaking point this day (did I mention this all happened within 30 minutes? *twitch twitch*). I was a cool mom and made craft/drawing supplies available so that after I finished "parting the SEA" I could get dinner on the table. I had also supplied a healthy snack. His favorite. "Bapple!"
Then I had to make the birthday cake for my oldest's (still scarred by the sex talk - scroll down to read that) 11th birthday.
Sweet success...
Wait...where did that extra piece come from?
You have GOT the be kidding me! Nice. Perfect ending to a perfect day! NOT!
Tell me about your life IN THE CIRCUS and what position at the circus you feel you are most worthy of...tightrope walker, the lion tamer, sideshow freak, trapeze artist, clown, the audience...did I miss anything?
The best "quote" or scenario will win this book.

Sidewalk Circus is a gorgeous wordless book about the anticipation of the coming circus. It is a Blue Ribbon Picture Book Award winner. By Paul Fleischman (Author), Kevin Hawkes (Illustrator)

Good LUCK!

And as always...refer, link, post! Everyone is welcome!


J... said...

I am the tiger or lion. I balance on small platforms, walk across skinny beams and take my place in line beside the other big cats all at the insistence of the Tamer's long whip. I fear the sting of that whip on my tenderized hind end but still futily look forward to the tiny chunk of meat I get as a reward.

My family has been wreaked with the havoc of death after death and then topped off with secret abuse that blew us all away...all within the last 4 months. I am looking for that small token of a reward for being strong through it all.

Great question, by the way. I love it when you make me think!

My Semblance of Sanity said...

I love what you wrote and am saddened for your version of the "CIRCUS"!
Prayers to you!

However, what you wrote was POWERFUL! Shows your strength!

There's a secret as to why I am asking for this....

This Crazy Thing Called Motherhood said...

I definitely feel like the sideshow freak sometimes when I am around other Moms. Its weird how another woman in your same position can either make you feel better or worse, depending on whether they decided to ride their high horse that day or not.

When they stare at me as I chase my two year old around like a lunatic as he screams "NO MOMMY NO" as if I were going to take him back to my secret lair and do experiments on him, instead of play, read, cuddle, feed, bathe, and generally heap love on him.....that's when I feel like a sideshow freak...rather than just an average mommy trying to do the best she can.

Kim Wheedleton said...

Hahahaha! That cake is CLASSIC!

I think I'm a juggler-type circus chick. With a husband who is frequently away on business, the piano-lesson-hauling, school-visiting, grocery shopping, gift-buying, bill-paying, laundry-doing (or NOT doing, as the case may be), brother/sister refereeing, breakfast-lunch-dinner making, volunteering, and small-meltdown soothing falls mostly to me.

Oh, and somewhere in between all of that, I try to shoehorn in some writing, blogging, and Wii-ing.

Robin said...

I love reading your blog! I've never commented before but the circus thing is cracking me up!

I'd love to call myself the lion tamer, as that would imply that someone around this house has been tamed. I'd also love to be the tight-rope walker or juggler maybe, but I don't have things quite that under control. My kids might consider me the clown or sideshow freak (clown would be better), but I'm not letting them vote.

Now, that I'm starting to blog about our family, I'd say I'm just the girl selling tickets to the show...of course, no one pays for the tickets but they can see the show anyway!


(oh, and I really do enjoy your blog - I'm taking notes on your "I am so sorry I asked..." post (my oldest is 11)

♥Lisa♥ said...

awesome!! cake that cuts its self. :)

Mabunny said...

I think I'm a sideshow freak. Even after being with the same man for 14 years, my husband tells me I'm very naive (sp?). Also, due to the Peripheral neuropathy I suffer from I walk funny. If I don't have my leg braces on I can just be walking and fall down because my toes will decide at that moment they want to bend and not stay straight. It makes me seem very clumsy. My husband says I'm very easy to joke around with since I make it so easy, lol.
If I do fall its a riot to see me TRY to get up on my own, even to me. If my hubby isn't there to lend me support I have to crawl over to whatever piece of furniture I'm near and try to hoist myself up. I'm not skinny by any means, so the past four years or so of cookies, popcorn, and the occasional french fry make that no easy feat:)
Hope that counts as an entry! Have a great day Michelle!

The Real Life Fairy Tale Princess said...

I liked this so much, I put a lot of thought into it and dedicated a whole post to it.

Too much fun!!

Michelle said...

I'm definitely the fire eater.

The fire eater always has about a million things spinning and moving around and up in the air at the same time, and generally they're all on fire.

I work three days a week at a pretty challenging job.

Mister Man and Little Miss both attend a special needs preschool - of course one is morning and the other afternoon. Mister Man goes to a kindergarten program at daycare the three days a week that I work. Little Miss attends daycare in the afternoon two of those days, and my parents watch her the third.

I'm also the PTO prosident for the special needs preschool, which has its own challenges as you might imagine.

Oh and I'm part of a supper swapping group, so I cook for three families once a week and deliver those meals.

And I'm part of the babysitting co-op where I trade babysitting with those in my area, which also involves meetings at least once a month in addition to the babysitting. I did drop the one plate of being the social chair for this group as I just couldn't do it anymore.

Then we have the actual managing of the household, as I'm the sole cook, financial expert, laundress, cleaner, primary child rearer, etc. That takes up just a weeee bit of my time.

And at any given time, the majority of these plates up in the air are also on fire, and it's up to me to eat these tasks and put out the fire without causing any damage to anyone or anything other than the internal scarring that remains, known only to me.

Karla with a K said...

Michelle - you and your secrets!!!! jk

These are really funny! I'm going to have to get back to this. Provided I can find some brain cells first.

My favorite circus title, though, is "sideshow freak."

And love the cake (and candles.)

Anonymous said...

I just went down the list and crossed off the things I couldn't do and then.. I remembered the voices... so.. I'm the chick that takes care of the monkey cage..

Took me a whole post to decide that, but you made me laugh and after the week we have had.. that's a good thing..

Theresa said...

Wow, I really would have to think about this.

I love the cake...and the apple!

Thanks for the post.
Love T

Jennifer said...

That's easy--I'm the Ringmaster!

I coordinate the comings and goings of the clowns--including the "how many clowns can fit in the minivan" trick, the feeding of the animals, shouting to the acrobats to "get down!" when they are in danger, cleaning up the monkey's messes, and general supervision of the freakshow!

I don't call my blog The Fun House for nothin'!

Diane B said...

I'm the behind-the-scenes person in the blue jumpsuit. You know...the one that makes sure the animals are fed. The one that puts up the tent so there's a roof over the head of the whole circus. I sew buttons and seams so no one loses their pants during their acrobatics. I get the star dressed everyday so he can charm the masses. I clean up the poop so everyone enjoys the show without the side effects.

You may not notice me or see what I do but the show doesn't go on without me. Even though the audience may not see me, at the end of the day I'm the one that puts the acrobat to bed with a kiss, the ringmaster says "I love you" to and I even get to pet the animals (because, hey, I'm the one who feeds them).

I may not be in the spotlight, swing from the trapeze or hang from my hair but I love my job and think I have a pretty good gig.

PS I do NOT wears jumpsuits. Clothes, yes. Jumpsuits, no.

Rachel said...

Okay... no great creative circus genius like the ones above...

I just wanted to say I have one of those too!

A kid who says, "Bapple", of course!

And "Pairplane" and "Bamber" for "Amber" (which is INSANELY endearing to his aunt!)

KentuckyGal said...

I am the Ring Master/Travel Co-ordinator with OCD on steroids. Lemme 'splain.

My family of 2 adults, 3 children under 12, one 8-puppy-expecting dog, and a male cat live in (and around) a two bedroom house where the only interior door is to the bathroom. We homeschool.

I also work outside the home in a residential/teaching facility for approx 225 adults who have MR/DD (mental retardation and developmental disabilities), along with about 1200 other variationally-sane coworkers.

Man...I could do a whole series of posts along this theme in my blog: tightrope walker, lady who keeps all those plates spinning, walker through burning coals (broken glass works well too)

Mabunny said...

Hye Michelle, take a cool down, stop by my blog to celebrate my 200th post, and enter the movie quote contest!

KentuckyGal said...

Yeah, I know...I'm back. :p

Here's the link to my post about your contest!

While I'm here, I'm gonna check out some of your badges and widgets too. BTW, I just about spit out my coffee when I saw your badge about "laughing until you puke". *ROFLMAO*