Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Want some tickets to MY Island...

There is an island out in the middle of the Atlantic (not the Pacific b/c that is just a little too far away for my comfort - you remember, I rode a train for 35 hours to get to Chicago last spring instead of flying b/c flying freaks me out...Atlantic, not Pacific!) with my name on it.
The Island of Misfit Toys got me thinkin'...as I snuggled under a warm cozy blanket with my kids, their little heads nestled into my bosom (eww, hate that word!) I started to drift; not to sleep, my mind started to wander...what would MY island be called (certainly NOT The Island of Misfit Toys, have you SEEN those things... they are just a little disturbing!) and what about that island would make it MINE?!
(insert dreamy music here!)
It's The Island of Do Nothing!
It's a pretty place that is only inhabited by moms, you know, people who "get" you! People who can finish your sentence, not finish reading the mail WHILE YOU ARE SAYING LOTS OF SENTENCES!!! Oh yeah, and there would be cabana boys - lots of cabana boys! No, not for THAT...sheesh! The cabana boys would simply be the "Could I get you a drink? Some nachos? More sun lotion? A magazine?" kind of guys! Man oh man you need to wipe those minds of yours clean! (Steph!)
It's The Island of No Toys Between My Toes!
There would be no matchbox cars or Polly Pocket heads crunching under my feet. Just the warm palm fronds that I was laying my sun kissed body on all the live-long day! Exactly how long is a live-long day? Because if it is longer than 24 hours I am booking the first flight to ANY ocean! What the heck can you actually get accomplished in 24 hours if you sleep? Not very much. The laundry just keeps multiplying!
It's The Island of Eat Anything You Want and Look Like Heidi Klum!
NO CALORIES ALLOWED ON MY ISLAND! All food served by cabana boys as me and my fronds enjoy the large doses of Vitamin D from the fiery God above will be delicious but void of all fat and calories. The most succulent fruits and vegetables (wait for it...), whole grains and legumes (wait for it...), protein and CHOCOLATE (there it is!), CHEESECAKE, NACHOS, FRENCH FRIES (do the dance!) and ICE CREAM! (Now, my brain that has been bruised by and eating disorder finds the words "body like Heidi Klum" and "cheesecake" like the opposite ends of a magnet. We all know that anywhere other than MY ISLAND you could only eat one chickpea and a sip of water to look like her.) Sigh. But that's why we have my island to escape to.
It's The Island of NO LAUNDRY !
Let's face it gals, if we look like Heidi Klum are we going to cover it all up with clothes? Um, nope!
It's The Island of Sleep Whenever and Don't Feel Guilty About It!
So many nights I sit in front of my computer and klink away on the keys. My heavy eyelids fall. My head jerks and sways as I start typing the stream of consciousness in my brain instead of the subject I am being paid to write. Usually I get my second wind about 3am and that's when I think..."3 more hours and it will be light. I could get all of this done. A couple cups of coffee will get the kids on the bus and then I can crawl into bed." But then my YOU CAN'T DO THAT alarm goes off. There is something about being responsible and being a housewife that makes us think we need to be all apron-y and chipper throughout the day whether we are fully rested or have just given birth. Why is that? My island is looking better every live-long second!
(insert coming-out-of-dream music here!)
"NO! NO! NO! It's not over!!!!"
"Mommy, quiet! You are going to wake the baby!"
"But the fronds...they were so warm!"
"Time for bed. Mommy needs to sleep."
Praying for fronds! Warm, warm fronds!
Oh yeah.... AND IT'S FREE!!!


AlaneM said...

Oh Michelle I want these islands...no I NEED them! PLEASE FIND THE ISLANDS & TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!
(typed as I prop my eyelids open & pop tootise roll midges like there's no tomorrow)

Julie said...

Ooohhh...that sounds NICE. Sign me up for one ticket, please!