"This is your NEW time out area - stay put in the positions I have assigned you- don't move! I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE SLIDING, CRAMPING OR YOUR BUTT HURTS!! I SAID DON'T MOVE!"
"Replace the roll? Oh no, don't bother...it's way easier to find the end from a mass of cavorting toilet paper rolls strewn on the floor!"
"You can't have the hairy lollipop until you finish your vegetables!""Non-toxic? Please be non-toxic! Please let green poop be the biggest side effect of this art project!"
"Where do you get this dramatic behavior? Knock it off!""Oh."
"Of course you can play with the phone, swim goggles, Daddy's favorite hat and a spoon ON the counter! Would you like to make a playdate of it? I bet little Johnny would like to swing from the ceiling fan!"
"Honey, can you bring all the RAW VEGGIES into the living room? I want to make a salad for dinner!"
"Non-toxic? Please be non-toxic! Please let purple poop be the biggest side effect of this art project!"