I had no idea what I was in for! I arrived at my son's classroom just in time to be assigned with my group. SIX kids! 4 girls, 2 boys! They are 9 & 10 year olds, shouldn't be too bad, right?! It wasn't until we loaded the bus. My sweet son is in the it's-cool-to-ride-in-the-very-back-seat stage! And also the have-mom-sit-on-the-inside-so-I-can-still-chat-w-my-friends stage. This is all fine with me b/c then I can text friends and just chill.
Apparently, however, the bus drivers got wind of some kind of hold up on the turnpike so we started our trip on back roads. Up and down, around and up again. That danged back seat flings you all over to heck and back! I think I was bleeding internally by the time we got to the Camden Aquarium!
My six kids and I got our bracelets and headed in to a facility that most obviously over-booked the day. I swear it was standing-room-only at most of the exhibits! Kids were cranky, the adults were crankier and my group was starving! Do people no longer feed their kids breakfast anymore? We had a schedule to abide by so I couldn't feed them until my schedule said to head for the Skyline Lunchroom!
By this time I had
I think I would have been OK finishing the trip and heading home on my own. I really think the return trip did me in. No one should even be made to ride 90 minutes on a bus filled with 2-3 kids (apparently who ALL needed Ritalin) to a seat, only a handful of chaperones and enough video game paraphernalia to keep us off the Ben Franklin Bridge due to excessive weight.
There were kids singing to their iPods and I am being kind by saying "singing" - one girl just had her mouth open and all the sounds of hell were coming out of her face...I watched her thinking she was having a stroke or something but apparently the music was so loud that she THOUGHT SHE WAS SINGING!
Then there was a group of boys who had "linked" their Nintendo DS's and were playing some race game that causes you to lose all sense of how loud you are screaming in the nice lady chaperone's ears as you egg on your opponents with your trash talk. One small kid, whose mouth was bigger than he was, screamed, "OH, YOU ARE GOIN' DOWWWWWWN!" so loud in my ear that I saw stars and I honestly imagined myself head-butting him! ME...headbutting a 9-year old! That would be the LAST field trip of my career, I imagine! Maybe not such a bad idea...
The noise on that bus was deafening! COMPLETELY deafening!
When we finally arrived back at the school, I saw a dear friend leaving her bus looking frazzled. She and I have known each other since we were the STUDENTS on the field trip bus! And as I walked past her I said, " I have come to the conclusion that I could never be a bus driver." She looked me square in the eyes and said, "I have come to the conclusion that I will be stopping by the liquor store on the way home!" (thanks "B" - that was the best laugh I have had in a long time!)
Today, while dropping off a forgotten instrument at school , I ran into the gifted teacher who chatted with me for a minute about "my group" for Friday. Yep....just call me GFP, (Glutton For Punishment) - I am off on another field trip as "Queen Chaperone" on Friday, yes, like TOMORROW! I close my eyes, rub my temples and start my mantra, "It's aaaaallllllll blog fodder, it's aaaaalllllll blog fodder..." which quickly starts to sound a little like, "There's no place like home....there's no place like home..."