I'm proposing....

Yes, you know I am married. But that leaves you wondering who I am proposing to and why would a married woman blast her extra-marital business across the internet for everyone to judge...

I am writing a PROPOSAL...
for a BOOK...
MY book for teen girls.

Ladies, is there not enough gossip in the tabloids to hold your attention? You needed to come here to try and find some? You know you don't get gossip here. Just good ole' fun about being a mom and my tricks of the trade when it comes to dealing with kids...and now TEENS... of my own and other people's teens.

"You are AMAZING! I just wanted you to know I couldn't have gotten through this year without you!"
After I got this message I realized how this incredible ride I am on is just the beginning - Ladies and Gentlemen, we are just about to pull out of the gate...HOLD ON, it's going to be a crazy ride!

This morning my PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE devotional said that people who look into their own future and envision their lives "down the road" actually have more success than people who just plod along day by day.

Well, would ya look at that, all the people who think I am an incurable DREAMER are right...and I don't have to feel like I am getting tsk-tsk'ed by the teacher when they say it. Now, the next time someone says, "She's got her head in the clouds again..." I can say, "YOU BET I DO!! Grab your tickets now, you're gonna wanna see THIS!"

So, the theme of my morning devotional was PERFECT for the day I would rush out the door to my favorite and most productive writing spot - PANERA - as soon as my husband packed up the kids for the pool. I have been asked to plot my marketing plans for this book.

So, get comfy and insert the dreamy music here...

I see a shelf filled with a series of books and journals, activity books and picture books by Michelle Kemper Brownlow for teen girls that will raise their awareness of the world around them and give them the permission to OWN the space they take up. That space will be unique and beautiful like each of them and will have distinct boundaries that will celebrate the kind of woman they are "training" to become. Now, I know all these books would be spread all over the bookstore in their respective genre - but just humor me. Let's PRETEND I would have my own shelf. Isn't it pretty?

I see my iPhone (which I don't have yet) and make sure I synced it (which I don't know how to do) with my calendar so that the directions to the school I am speaking at later this week is included.

I see myself lurching back and forth as I tell just one of my many goofball stories that accompany every workshop I run. I have sat with young girls for over 9 years and made stories from my own life relevant to what we were talking about that day. Whether it was girl drama, boys and boundaries or parents, I have the story - ask them, they'll tell you!

I see flying (gasp, gasp, I don't like planes....breathe....if God wants me to I will....that's better) to events, book signings, TV appearances (OK - that felt weird to type), speaking engagements, schools to share something I have lived through and learned with girls who are struggling to stay afloat in this thing we throw at them called life. Sometimes it seems we parent from the lifeboat and just let them flail until they "kinda" get it!

The plans God has for this project are the ones I want to follow. I have followed His lead from the beginning. When I was struggling with what I was supposed to be doing with my life - go back to teaching high school, continue writing children's programs/curriculum for churches and teaching teens on Sunday, go into a different field altogether - I prayed and had a long chat with God. Thankfully He doesn't mind that sometimes that means meeting me in the bathroom. I picked up one of my own teen's devotionals and opened it. The words that jumped out at me said, "WHERE IS YOUR MISSION FIELD?"

Teens have been my passion since I taught back in the mid- 90's but I guess I always thought my connection with them was completely based on the fact that being right out of college, there weren't all that many years between us. But when my own children became tweens and the conversations would go from in front of the TV to around the kitchen table WITH ME... I realized they can sense how much I love them without me even having to do anything special. Just listen, be my goofy self and let them BE who they are.

I started to think about all the books out there for them... there were some but what teens go into the bookstore and head right to the self-help section for teens? What books could I suggest for them?

Well, they wanted me to help them now.... NOW... not when I found a book and after they had the chance to read it.What could I offer with my writing background? What kinds of topics would I cover?

That's when I decided I would focus on TEEN GIRLS.

My "Advisory Team" of 30 lovelies that I like to refer to as The Butterfly Girlz have shared their lives and their best advice with me for the book and the girls from "the gathering" group on facebook, which is comprised of 230+ girls from around the country, is always buzzing with issues, advice, girls crying out for help.

I have even spent hours on the phone with MOMS who beg, "I just need your advice..."

There is a need for this book. There is a need for teen girls to feel like they have someone to turn to.

So, I see this book becoming almost interactive when paired with the LIVE scenario of a facebook group!

So, we are headed up the hill of this big ride that starts with this book proposal.

So, as you see, I propose.

Moms, can't we just stick together?

The work I do with teen girls has me handing out advice all hours of the day. One thing I wasn't expecting when I started this ministry was all of the calls and emails and facebook messages I would get from MOMS! It has been amazing helping moms hash out their relationship issues and being the sounding board for those who want to make sure they are giving sound advice to their girls. I have even had moms ask if I could run workshops for moms in between the workshops I run for teen girls!

I love BOTH sides of this coin. Walking girls through the most difficult times in their lives while standing firm with moms and supporting them in the drama of raising a teen girl. Whether you have a responsible teen or one who stretches you to the limits there is drama. Sometimes that drama is friend-induced and sometimes it is brought on directly by your daughter. Either way, we are in this together! And I always make sure I am NOT taking the place of the moms, I am constantly giving girls advice on how to go to their moms with the things they come to me with. The relationship between mother and daughter is SO valuable as they navigate their way through their teen years.

But, in the conversations I have both with moms and girls, there is a common thread that causes many of the issues. And it has happened enough even in the last 2 weeks that warrants a blog post!

Some (and I stress SOME so that you don't get angry with me) moms are getting lazy. I feel like the more drama that comes into their lives, the more laxed they become in sticking to their guns. Sure, it is EXHAUSTING being a mom of a teen girl and many of you have more than one (God bless you)! But this is all the more reason to stick to the boundaries you have set. If you think they don't know how to play their cards and push you to your breaking point just to get you to say, "FINE! Just GO! Do it! I don't care! Just STOP bugging me!" then you have completely forgotten your own teen years!

Let me give you a scenario -

Tamara asks her mom if she can stay out past the Cinderella curfew on her licence (which is 11pm) b/c her friends, Callie and Tessa want to go out for ice cream after a movie. Callie and Tessa live on the other side of town and will be taking Tessa's car to the movies. This means Tamara and Tessa will have to break curfew if they are doing ice cream after. Tamara's mom says "no" because that is breaking the law. Tamara flips out and says it's not fair b/c Callie and Tessa are allowed.

Tamara's mom calls Tessa's mom to chat this out and finds out that Tessa's mom HAS given Tessa permission to be out later than curfew, "because I just feel bad, they really want to go out for ice cream after. You know, I don't wanna be the bad guy all the time."

Moms, can't we just stick together?! Come ON!

Why are we getting lazy? Young teens are going to R-rated movies, the songs on their iPods are atrocious, the language they use and lack of respect they have for adults is insulting to say the least, and what they post on facebook - ooohhhhh, don't EVEN get me started on that!!

Why do we all of a sudden, during the years that will shape the adult they will become, do we take a break? We didn't take a break when they wanted to dart out into traffic, why now, when they are testing the boundaries with sex, drugs and alcohol do we decide it is our job to make their lives comfortable?

I am pleading with moms everywhere to TIGHTEN your reigns! Check their facebook, don't let them see movies that are intended for older audiences, don't let them drink in your home, don't give them permission to stay out beyond the curfew set by the law makers who KNOW the statistics of fatal car accidents involving teen drivers.

I talk to teens everyday who are SO confused about right and wrong because the lines have been blurred. Somewhere over the last 15 years society has trained adults to believe that the kids have a handle on this growing up thing and we should just let them do it, on their own.




Sure, Wally, that's why I made sure you had money with you.
Yes, honey, the condoms are in Aisle 7.
Have a good night. Be safe.



I don't need to ask you if there is something terribly wrong with this picture!

I had a mom tell me that she found naked pictures on her 15-year old son's phone sent from a girl he knew from school. Those pictures were accompanied with the "activities" she was offering.

You can imagine my shock when she told me she went out immediately and bought him a box of condoms.

I questioned her as to her responsibility to lay down some laws, her responsibility to tell him that having sex can mess up your whole life. There is no reason a 15 year old should think that his mom is condoning sex.

"I'm not condoning it. I told him it was unacceptable."

But by handing him the condoms after verbally setting this boundary she is sending the message, "I know you will screw up. There is no part of me that believes you can be trustworthy. I know you won't listen to anything I tell you so here you go. I am giving you permission to have sex even though I just told you it was unacceptable."

So, my questions for you today are...

Are you just lazy?

Are there things you allow your teen to do because you just don't have the energy to be consistent?

Do you give in because you hate the arguing?

...and, finally....

Are you READY for the ramifications of your laziness?

Pass this on to the moms in your circle of friends.

Agree to ALL stand up for those boundaries you have set.

And, most of all, agree to SUPPORT each other in upholding the highest standards for our teens.

Aren't they worth it?

Peace out, Mamas!

Waiter...there's a bug in my SHOWER!

So, I thought on this SUNNY day in June, I would re-post one of my RANTS from winter. Enjoy!

SNOW DAY! No school!

I hop out of bed before my husband leaves for work to guarantee a shower.

Three kids home makes for not so much Me-time! And I didn't shower yesterday so I REALLY needed one today!

No sooner am I in and I glance down to find a huge bug on the floor of the shower. HUGE.

I think it was a stink bug. Anyway, I am one of those pacifists that probably gets on your nerves b/c I DON'T kill bugs. We (insert quiet first-grade-teacher-voice here) secure them in a soft covering (aka toilet paper) and set them free out the front door.

So, I say, "Ew, there's a bug in here. Did you know that?" to my husband who just got out but I am not the least bit freaked out - I'm happy to share...maybe he was thirsty.

Hot water, no screaming kids and a massage for my head with my new, yummy-smelling shampoo and I forget all about Mr. Stink on the floor until...

CRUNCH!

Yep...I turned to wash the shampoo off my face and when I put my right foot back down I squashed him flat! FLAT! I felt the crunch vibrate all the way up to my knee!

Now, I truly don't mind bugs...at all...unless they are the size of an armadillo and stuck to the bottom of my foot!

I started to wail! WAIL, I tell you!

"YOOOOWWWWWWWWWW! I STEPPED ON IT! I STEPPED ON IT! GET IT OUT OF HERE!"
"IS NO ONE LISTENING? GET IT OUT! THE BUG! I STEPPED ON IT!"

On most occasions, someone's life falls apart as soon as I am in the shower and before I know it, they are ALL staring through the steamed glass door and throwing questions at me left and right.

But, not today! Today there is NO ONE coming in! Today when I have 6 pounds of shampoo foam all over my face and I can't wipe it off or open my eyes because I am holding onto the rail of the tub because I have bug guts on my foot and I don't know where he flew when I shook his dead butt off my foot! NO ONE!

Finally, my husband came to my rescue...albeit, laughing his pants off! I rinse off and step out only to find 3/5 of my family right outside the door in my room watching like I was Cirque de Soleil!

NAKED Cirque de Soleil!

Happy Snow Day! It can only get better from here right?

Until I catch my 4 yr old at the top of our staircase on a skateboard! That's a whole other story!

Peace.

Just the Way She Is Day... July 20, 2011 JOIN US!

 I am organizing a NATIONWIDE event! And if this is going to work, I need to rally the troops! The troops are YOU! My loyal readers, can you help me promote this very important event?!

 As a young woman you know the havoc the media can play on your self-esteem, this event is to spread the word that every girl is beautiful JUST THE WAY SHE IS!

Would you consider joining the event and registering a group? Would you SHARE this link on your wall? This is the future of our legacies that will be impacted! Thank you for considering this!

NKOTBSB - I'm on the fence...

So this morning I am enjoying my coffee at the kitchen table with my back to the TV when I find myself grinning and be-bopping to a familiar tune...

"All you people can't you see, can't you see



How your love's affecting our reality


Every time we're down


You can make it right


And that makes you larger than life..."

I thought I was reliving my 8th grade homecoming dance. I was not planning on turning around and seeing the 40+ year old boy bands combined on a stage... I grabbed my sunglasses to sheild my eyes from the boy band bald spots!

Part of me giggles b/c I recognize these "boys" I used to have ridiculous crushes on, but the other part of me is cringing because they sound AWFUL and I feel so embarrassed for them.
I will say, their lyrics have one version - CLEAN! Unlike the Rhianna's S&M performance the Today Show had last week that left me gagging. To watch a 23 year old sing about whips and chains crosses the line for me... so, if it's bald spots and clean lyrics - then more power to them... maybe they could just add a little AutoTune.

Help for Moms of Teens...

It has been a while since I posted here b/c I have been so busy running the program for teen girls  that has just taken off like wild fire...let me recap and let you know what has been going on...

When I first thought about writing a book for teen girls it came out of my frustration with what I was seeing on TV and hearing on the radio that was compromising the RESPECT our girls should have for themselves. How can a girl have respect for herself while she is singing, "C'mon rude boy, can you get it up...." Yep, that's our lovely Rhianna telling our girls to challenge boys in this way. So, I tried to come up with a way to describe how to HOLD onto our self-respect. One day I sat in Panera and wrote The Legend of the Butterfly Girlz.

A couple months later, I put out a status on my facebook calling for TEEN girls who would like to be my "go-to" girls while I write my book for TEEN GIRLS called, "My NET Worth: Every Girl's Guide to Catching Self-Respect & Keeping It." I wanted to have quotes, advice and anecdotes from REAL teens to make my book authentic and something a teen girl would hang onto like a security blanket. I saw this book as being a life-line. Out of that post came an amazing group of 31 teen girls who are now known as "The Butterfly Girlz."  These girls range in age from 12-18 and are from across the country. We have a PRIVATE facebook group where they are free to discuss teen issues. I post regular questions that help me to gather quotes and anecdotes for the book but at the same time their candid answers, humor and transparency is helping them forge friendships stronger than some forged within the same schools.

I saw the amazing strides these girls were taking and thought it was a crime to keep all of that good advice and support within the walls of the Butterfly Girlz group. So, I added a new PRIVATE group called "the gathering" which we opened just a couple weeks ago. We started with our 31 girls. Members of the group have the capacity to add friends and girls can request to join. We now have a working group of over 230 girls. The "Butterfly Girlz" have a large presence on this site and jump at the chance to support girls who post their heartache over a lost love, their shock at a pending divorce, etc. I am on "the gathering" for hours daily overseeing and offering advice. I have had girls say to me that they never imagined an adult would care enough to help them with their problems. That is so sad to me!

My teaching, workshops and book focus mainly on SELF-RESPECT and PERSONAL BOUNDARIES. I work with girls daily on "scripting" their responses to difficult situations. I have adapted a couple tips I have learned in the trenches of dealing with teens to suit the girls that meet me on facebook each and every day. This "scripting" exercise has been a BIG hit, girls are using it and being successful at setting boundaries that stick!

I have been running The Butterfly Girlz Blog which is a place that has newsworthy information on things that apply to teen girls. Every Friday I post a journaling exercise to get the girls who read the page a chance to hash out their thoughts on that subject for the day.

The Butterfly Girlz have also published their own mini-magazine/newsletter. Our first issue, the SUMMER issue came out at the beginning of May. Their writings, journal entries, pics, a write-in advice column and much more grace the pages of Butterfly Landing Magazine. We are open to submissions from teen girls anywhere.

I am planning to start summer workshops for young girls (ages 7-11) and teen girls (12-18). I have some workshops planned out but am open to catering workshops based on the needs of the schools, scout troops, churches inviting  me to speak.

There are so many ideas running through my head for weekend events that girls could  be doing simultaneously across the country but under the umbrella of The Butterfly Girlz! Random Acts of Kindness projects, support for storm ravages states, etc. I plan on having some events for just The Butterfly Girlz this summer where we SKYPE in the girls from other states.

Over the past couple weeks I have had moms ask if I could run programs for them b/c at times they are just at a loss for what to do with their girls or the drama that surrounds them. I have had moms calling in tears asking for advice, moms emailing and facebooking me for help...

I had no idea this was going to take off so quickly and become so HUGE. But I am so thrilled and blessed each and every day when someone "gets it" and I can see the proverbial light bulb click on. These girls are treasures that can not be "blown off" anymore. They have something to say, their problems are real, the media is feeding them CRAP through everyone of their senses. Boys are telling them, "it's ok, just let me show you" and they are falling for it. Girls as young as 12 are having babies, suicide attempts are now trickling down into our elementary schools and I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!

This is my contribution to the next generation and I IMPLORE you to help me spread the word. This book needs an agent and publisher, I need to branch out and speak around the country to groups of girls who are losing grip on the end of their rope. I need to do interviews, I need connections with talk radio stations. I want to save lives, I want to empower girls, I want to DREAM with them, I want them to see their potential. I want them to succeed. I want them to hold onto their butterflies and RISE ABOVE THE MUCK!

Please help me take this around the world.

Thank you for helping me inspire our FUTURE with what I have learned from all the amazing moms in my  life - and yes, that includes you!

THANK YOU!

The Butterfly Girlz are ROCKIN' and ROLLIN'...

 I have been blogging over at The Butterfly Girlz and building up TEEN GIRLS with the self-respect that society doesn't teach them that they have.

Please click on the pic of my beautiful Advisory Team - the Butterfly Girlz Class of 2011 - to see more about this project.

And please pass the link along to anyone you know who would be interested in any of the following:

The STORY of how this all came to be....

The LEGEND OF THE BUTTERFLY GIRLS...

the BOOK I am writing,

My "Net" Worth: Every Girl's Guide to Catching Self-Respect & Keeping It!...

how to submit a teen girl's writing to our BUTTERFLY LANDING mini-magazine...

or the WORKSHOPS I am offering...

This is the BIGGEST project I have ever worked on, I am literally working more hours a day some days then when I was a high school teacher - but the emails I get from girls who got a word of encouragement or inspiration from the advice I gave them makes it all worth it.

Please help me spread the word.

Thank you!

The Butterfly Girlz are taking flight

 The project that I have been working on that has been keeping me away from blogging here is really taking flight and I am so excited to share it with you.

I am currently working on a book for teen girls called, MY "NET" WORTH: EVERY GIRL'S GUIDE TO CATCHING SELF-RESPECT & KEEPING IT!

I started this book while sitting in Panera trying to solve the world's problems. It was one of those weeks where every news channel was covering a different teen suicide or bullying event. I started to think  and worked from the suicide backwards to try to get to the root of the problem.

I landed on self-respect. No one with a developed sense of self-respect would treat someone that way. No one with a developed sense of self-respect would start a rumor or feed into gossip. No one with a developed sense of self-respect would pressure a girl for sex...and so on and so on.

I decided I would start with the girls (yes, that DOES mean I have an idea in my head how to do this for boys next). I sat and tried decide how to explain in my own quirky way, what self-respect looks like. What would be something that was beautiful but in today's world not all that easy to hang onto?

A butterfly.

Out of this conversation with myself was born The Legend of the Butterfly Girls.

This book is a culmination of 16+ years of mentoring teen girls paired with the input of TODAY'S teen girls in the form of an Advisory Team that I oversee in a closed Facebook Group called The Butterfly Girlz. The book is chockful of journaling exercises, creative activities that illustrate a point, conversation tactics for those who hate confrontation, etc.

I focus on FIVE main character traits that we work on developing - COURAGE, INTEGRITY, ASSERTIVENESS, CONFIDENCE and RESTRAINT. I believe that of all of the character traits, these five embody a perfect recipe for a healthy dose of life-long self-respect.

My advisory team came together very quickly after a post on my facebook calling for teen girls who would like to be part of a self-respect project. I now have 25 AMAZING young ladies from 11 - 17 years old from all over the country. They have the opportunity to answer questions and I have their permission to use some responses for the book. They also start their own conversations, support each other and enjoy getting to know each other better. It is amazing to watch.

We are starting our own MINI-Magazine called BUTTERFLY LANDING which we are just thrilled to do together! There is a teen residential care facililty in Missouri who has expressed an interest in having our new magazine available to their female residents.

I have had local groups ask if I would come speak to their teen girls and am planning my first large conference-style event open to the public.

Through our BUTTERFLY GIRLZ BLOG, we have attracted the attention of Dr. Michele Borba, parenting expert seen often on the Today Show and Dr. Phil. We have gotten comments from Annie Fox and Tricia Goyer, both authors who focus primarily on teens.

So, there are so many of you who I would like to thank for staying faithful readers and followers. If you are as excited about this as I am please feel free to pass this link along. Facebook it. Tweet it. Email it.

I just read a statistic that scared me to death - 25% of today's teenage girls are in immediate danger from self-mutilation, eating disorders, violence, depression or suicide.

Help me reach those teens.

Hello, is this Ms. Way-too-Busy?

Um, why, yes, yes it is. But you can call me...

Ha! Yeah, never mind, I won't be in your life all that long, but you can call me Mr. Sanity.

Can you hold on one second? "PLEASE STOP teasing your brother! Give him the curling iron...he likes to play with it!" Sorry. OK. What can I do for you?

Well, let me start with congratulating you on the new position you have been chosen for. Not many women can fill the shoes of Sanity, Inc. but, you, YOU Ms. Way-too-Busy, you have beaten the odds.

Uh. Really? Thanks? "I SAID GIVE HIM THE CURLING... WHAT?! Sure, if it will keep him quiet while I am on the phone, then let him take a bath!"

So, your position with Sanity, Inc. is to...

"DO NOT LET HIM HAVE THE CURLING IRON WHEN HE IS IN THE TUB!"

Ma'am, your position with Sanity, Inc. is as our Chief Executive Officer. You will be responsible for coordinating the rides for 3 children who are in 5 activities...4 of which are on the same night.

(Chuckle) OK. "WHAT?! Well, if you MUST know, I am locked in the bathroom so I can actually HAVE an adult conversation! Please go start your homework and...WHAT?! He's WHAT?! BRING HIM HERE!" So, that's all I have to do? 3 kids, 5 activities? That's it?!

Well, Ms. Way-too-Busy....

Listen, enough with the Way-too-Busy-thing...I have a name.

I really don't care. I just need you to also volunteer for at least 3 parent/teacher responsibilities in 2 different school buildings each week. Do you think you are the right candidate for...

YES, sure, whatever you need. "WHY DOES HE HAVE GUM IN HIS HAIR?! Ummmm....HELLOOOO??! Where does everyone disappear to when the baby has foreign objects in/on or around his body? HELLOOOO???!"

Hi. I am still here.

NO, sorry, I wasn't talking to you, Mr. Sanity, I was trying to get gum out... "WHATTHEHECKISTHIS?!" Look, do you know how to get nail polish off of eyelids? Can you use nail polish remover? Won't that sting? Should I...

EXCUSE ME! I am having a hard time giving you your list of responsibilities. Is there any way I can have your full attention?

Sure, can you email me?

No.

Why?

Because I need to tell you all of this information RIGHT THIS MINUTE if you would like to take part in our fantastic opportunity!

(Sigh) OK. "Look, sweetie, Mommy bought you a new video. Here's your juice. Good boy. WHATTHEHECKISTHATNOISE?! WELL, STOP! Get the paperclips OUT OF THE MICROWAVE! GO. START. YOUR. HOMEWORK." OK. I'm ready. Go for it!

We will need you to take a small amount of cash that will be issued to you twice a month and use it to feed the 3 kids and a husband and various pets, pay for postage, gas and toiletries...

No sweat.

...and you will also need it to order school pictures, buy a cheer uniform and replace library books that were run over by the bus and lost lunch money. Oh, and you will need to set some aside for the kid with the fundraiser at the front door, craft supplies for your homeroom mom duties and ALL the mandatory football raffle tickets because you know you will never sell them.

Piece of cake, Mr. Sanity, I got it. "Cake? WHOSE TURN IS IT TO BRING THE SNACK FOR TOMORROW? REALLY? And you were going to tell me this WHEN?!" So, what's the big deal about this position, I'm really not impressed?

That's why we chose you, Ms. Way-too...

THAT'S NOT MY NAME!

Eh hem, well, Ma'am we chose you because you have proven yourself to be the ultimate multitask-er, you are quite crafty, an ace at scheduling and your husband says you are the QUEEN of SPENDING! The PTA also says you are a YESMOM, you will say "yes" to anything! But we have one last responsibility that will qualify you for this position with Sanity, Inc.

And...are you going to tell me what it is? Hold on. "WHY THE SNOT IS IT SO QUIET OUT THERE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU MAKING HIM EAT FUZZ AGAIN? YOU BETTER NOT BE MAKING HIM EAT FUZZ!"

Ms. Way...eh hem, Ma'am, the only thing left to bring you on board is you must sign a waiver. It's a the most critical part of this position! This waiver states that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES will you attempt to complete your obligations to Sanity, Inc. without taking a day off each and EVERY week. A day in which you pamper yourself however you see fit. Your day off will start at 5am and continue through midnight...
BWAAAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAAAHAA!!!!!!!

Ma'am?

NOW you are just dreaming! HOWINTHEHECK do your expect me to have the time for THAT?!! Mr. Sanity, I have NO MORE time for you!

It's possible, Ma'am, there ARE 24 hours in a day. You should be able to fit in some ME-time somewhere in that schedule. If you just.....

(Silence)

Ma'am?

I'm sorry, you have the wrong number! This is Ms. Way-too-Busy. (Sigh) "You did WHAT in the dog's bowl? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WELL, I AM GOING TO......" (Click)

Ma'am? Hello? Dang, one more mom who is NOT fit for SANITY!

(Dialing)

Hello, is this Ms. Way-too-Perky?....

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Are ya feelin' me?
Peace.  

Praying Through Your Adoption Book Review

If you are thinking adoption might be the calling for your family, this book is for you. If you have struggled with the pain of infertility, this book is for you. If you have had just a fleeting thought of adopting and no issues with infertility, this book is for you.

Anyone will be blessed by the words Michele C. Scott gives in her book, Praying Through Your Adoption.

I have the privilege of knowing the author of this AMAZING book personally. She is a wonderfully, sweet woman with a gentle spirit who will inspire the masses with the truths of adoption you will find on these pages.

I saw Michele speak at a local church and her testimony brought me to tears. She was honest about the trials of adoption but also in how she continued to seek the Lord as they took this journey. Her story is beautiful.

I am an adoptive mom. I have felt the sheer joy of the blessing of adoption but also wallowed in the pain of post-adoption depression. This book was a precious gift to me even after the fact.

So, how do you get the book,
I have great news - there are a few ways to do just that.

• You can go to Michele's website HERE and get it for yourself and anyone in your life who you know it would touch.

• You can enter Michele's contest HERE where you can win a $50 Amazon.com gift card and then go spend it on a whole bunch of copies for you and your friends. This contest ends APRIL 1st!

• You can also leave a comment here on this post about WHY you would like to have/give this book and I will randomly choose a comment to win the book for free.

Once your heart has been blessed by PRAYING THROUGH YOUR ADOPTION,  I would love to have you go to THIS LINK and leave a review on Amazon.com.

I was thrilled to review this book for Michele and am blessed to have the opportunity to be a part of her Virtual Book Tour.

She will also appear on the following blogs to finish out the tour:
Tuesday - Jill Savage - Keep Hearts at Home
Wednesday - Angela Miller - Beyond the Horizon

Want to see where her tour has been this month:
Karin Prunty - Our Treasures From Afar
Alissa Lynne Griffith - Women Living 4 Jesus
Sarah Thacker - Parenting and Adoption Coaching Services
Jolene Philo - Down the Gravel Road
Julie Chandler - Julie Chandler Author/Speaker

Leave your comments to win!
Pass the link along to your friends...

Michele and her sweet family appreciate it!

Heaven has a new angel

R.I.P Danielle

You have forever changed the hearts of those who knew you. Your legacy remains. Thank you for who you were and for the lives you touch with your heart that was far beyond its 17 years. You will be terribly missed, beautiful girl.

Read Danielle's Story HERE
Look to the right sidebar to help offset medical costs for the DeLarso family ======>

You can send messages to the family on Danielle's Caringbridge site.

With Prayer,



My manuscript is in a contest...

 “I am M. Yes, just “M,” you don’t need to know what it stands for. You will never have a reason to get that close to me. I’m one of those girls you probably wouldn’t trust to babysit your offspring. One of those girls who sometimes doesn’t trust herself.”



The chill from the tiles of the bathroom floor bleeds through my wet jeans as my hair drips into my journal. Standing fully clothed under a cold shower when you are pissed off is nothing less than stunning. It breaks the inherent rules of the shower. I don’t mind breaking rules. It’s what I do best.


I think I burst the blood vessels in my eyes just moments ago when I screamed at my stupid, useless therapist in my least favorite room at BCH; The Therapeutic Services Center. I had to get out of there. I couldn’t even breathe let alone verbally dive into the twisted and painful web of the last fifteen years of my life; with an audience, nonetheless. Group therapy is nothing more than spilling your barren heart to a bunch of people who will use your story to make their own sad lives look a little brighter. Well, my sad life could make the chick from ‘Mommy Dearest’ look like she deserves a Mother of the Year nomination. So, talking about it makes my tongue burn.


Here I sit, shivering, cold and tortured on a Monday afternoon. I sometimes don’t even know who I am.
 

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This is the first 248 words of my YA edgy novel about a goth girl lost in her own mind. It's way more in your face than the picture book text I usually  write but I channelled a combination of students I have taught over the years and I am in love with this book. It is a tough story but one that needs to be told.

I entered this manuscript in a contest on Brenda Drake's contest.

Feel free to leave your comments.

Peace out, Mamas!

The Butterfly Girlz website us up...

 ...and collecting girls for it's net!

CLICK IMAGE

Pass it on - this book can't happen without a following - moms, daughters, scout leaders, coaches, teachers - without YOU, there is no book.

Following from the beginning will ensure you don't miss a beat!

GO! GO! GO! GO!

Peace out, Mamas!

Caviar and Armpits

Please donate to the DeLarson Family - story HERE - --------------->

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Well, this week was a grand week.... if chaos = grand!

I made a huge batch of Vegan Texas Caviar (recipe HERE) at the beginning of the week. Every time I had the munchies or skipped lunch I grabbed for the bowl of caviar and the bag of tortilla chips.

Then there was a day that Izaiah flipped out on everything and I mean everything. And the dog decided for the first time in her 6 years to start dumping and eating the trash every time I left the house.

The Butterfly Girlz are making their mark on our facebook page - I am astounded at the conversations and support they are offering up. These girls were divinely chosen and they are going to rock this world! I am humbled by them!

I had a great day of cleaning - my husband actually gave me the "to what do I owe this honor" face when he walked in from work. That face was followed with the "that's pretty sexy" grin! LOL
One day I crawled back into bed at 8:30am when the last of the three kids got on the bus and I slept for 3 more hours. It was heavenly.

This week was a silly mommy week - I felt like I goofed around with the kids more than usual and we all had a blast. There was hose play and sidewalk chalk in the driveway, tickle fests, jumping out and scaring each other and lots and lots of hugs.

My newest tattoo finally stopped itching so badly that I want to take my arm off.

I celebrated a life long friend's 41st birthday and found out a college friend's wife has stage 3 ovarian cancer.

I heard Michele C. Scott, author of Praying Through Your Adoption, speak and cried my eyes out when she talked about Post-Adoption depression and low self-esteem.

I wrote and organized the beginning of my book for teen girls and found out how passionate my husband is about this project. This could be a really good match - he and I and a book to inspire teens.

I watched way too much devastation in Japan.

And today we made an early morning a trip to Urgent Care to dig 1/2 a tick body out of Izaiah's armpit and send it off to be tested for Lyme's Disease.

My little buddy and I travelled all around after his "pit" felt a bit better (with the help of two....yep, two....donuts) to find a very special baptism gift for Matthew. Izaiah was a beautifully behaved little boy - at ALL 5 stops we needed to make. I was so proud of him!

As she headed upstairs to bed, Emily had memorized 106 decimal places of Pi. You know, we all know Pi is 3.14 but Emily now knows the next 104 numbers as well. She's got about 300 decimal places to go - we will see how far she gets by Monday. So proud! Gotta love a good gifted kid!

Matthew will give himself to the Lord this Sunday in a public testimony of his faith.

Now, there are three ways to end a long list of chaos and the beginning to a beautifully amazing weekend!

Peace out, Mamas!

The Legend of the BUTTERFLY GIRLS

PLEASE DONATE TO DANIELLE'S MIRACLE ------------>

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In my newest project for teen girls I have started using the imagery of butterflies as an analogy of self-respect. I don't think we earn self-respect, I believe we are all born with it but we have to work to keep it. We have to nurture it for it to grow so deep it simply becomes a part of who we are. If we let it go we can get it back but not without hard work.
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I developed this story as a means to explain this analogy and inspire girls to
HANG ON TO THOSE BUTTERFLIES!
Pass it on!

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The Legend of the Butterfly Girls
In a remote rainforest in the far corner of Costa Rica lived two sisters. Emmalee and Miranda were twins and upon their birth, each had been given a net filled with butterflies. As they grew up their parents showed them the proper care for butterflies and impressed upon them that the nurture of these beautiful creatures was crucial to their own futures. The understanding was when Emmalee and Miranda turned ten they would become responsible for their own butterfly net.

Emmalee was honored, “Thank you, Father. I will do my best to ensure their safety and I will keep them by my side at all times. I will never turn my back on them for other things not worthy of my attention.”

Miranda was less than amused, “They are bugs. They mean nothing. Why would we sacrifice our own time nurturing these things that have no value? There are more interesting things that hold my attention.”

Emmalee began by naming her butterflies. She held each one carefully, studied it, decided how much it meant to her and chose a name perfect for just that one. She did this methodically until each one was named. As the swarm inside her net grew she was sure to continue connecting with each and every one.

Miranda took another approach and hung the net out of her site in a far dusty corner of her room. One by one the butterflies wiggled out through the holes in the net and fluttered away.

Emmalee worked tirelessly nurturing her swarm. She turned her back on some things that once took up her time. However, Miranda could not understand this and teased her sister relentlessly at times.

The difference in swarms became evident as the girls walked to school each morning. The large group of butterflies in Emmalee’s net created a lift when she needed it. Emmalee effortlessly hopped over mud puddles to keep her white school dress pristine. She was able to hop out of the way of poisonous snakes that were a part of the path. The butterflies would lift her a bit further than her hop could on its own when she came to a nasty brier patch.

Miranda’s butterflies were so small in number her net barely floated. Miranda’s walk to school became anxiety-ridden as she looked for slithering threats, sloshed through the mud and was scratched deeply by thorns along the same path that her sister walked unscathed.

Emmalee offered to teach Miranda the things she knew about holding onto her butterflies. In the days following, Miranda’s swarm would grow some but still very small in comparison to her sister’s billowy net. But it was enough to get by and Miranda was content with the small lift so she could get to school with only a little mud and a few scratches. But, Miranda would soon get distracted with what she considered more attractive things. Her old ways were comfortable and familiar and the care for the butterflies was too much sacrifice. And without constant nurturing and care, Miranda’s butterflies, once again, would slip away.

One day as Emmalee floated to school she saw Miranda standing on the lip of a smoking volcano. She called to her but Miranda didn’t respond. As Emmalee got closer she could see the scars on Miranda’s legs from the gnarls of her walk to school. Miranda’s once white school dress was stained with mud. Miranda lifted her head to see her sister floating above her.

“Miranda, what are you doing? You are going to fall. Back away from the edge. Please!”

Miranda watched her sister float directly over the mouth of the volcano. There was not an ounce of fear on Emmalee’s eyes. Her legs dangled and her toes pointed directly down into the hot lava but yet she was not scared. The net in her right hand was home to a huge brood of healthy, nurtured butterflies that could lift her above any evil. There was a trust in Emmalee’s life that Miranda never knew.

“I can’t take it anymore. I don’t know how to do what you do. I can’t float above it all. I fall face first and sink. I am dirty and broken. I have nothing.”

“Your focus has been set on the things that pull you into the muck. The things that cut you are always on your heels because your gaze is on things other than your butterflies. You can always grow your swarm. You don’t have to give up.”

Miranda wiped her eyes and shook her head, “It’s too hard to grow it. I should have just held onto it when I my net was full!”

Just then she lost her balance and teetered on the edge and lost her balance. He body heaved toward to molten lava.

Emmalee gasped and without a thought of the bubbling ooze below her feet she threw her full net toward her sister and yelled, “Miranda, catch!”

Miranda watched the net leave her sister’s hand and in the fraction of a second before the net reached her own she realized the impact of her sister’s sacrifice.

But then the sister’s eyes met as they floated together. Eye-to-eye.

“Emmalee, look at your dress, the butterflies, they are part of you.”

Emmalee looked down and saw something she had never expected. Her once plain white school dress was now exquisitely decorated with the world’s most brilliant butterflies…and they were keeping her afloat.

Emmalee now had both hands free to teach Miranda how to cultivate her own swarm and soon they both floated in butterfly dresses above the thorns and muck and were splendid examples of true sisterhood to the other girls in the forest.

*This story is copyrighted and cannot be reproduced in any way without direct permission of the author*
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Thanks for reading.
If you know of someone who would benefit from this story I would love for you to send it to them. The point is for its reach to grow!

Danielle DeLarso, you're my HERO!

I am thrilled to introduce you to my newest TEEN HERO! This beautiful 17 year old has made an impression on the lives of everyone she meets.

Not only a star athlete with dreams of joining the Air Force, Danielle is a caring and responsible daughter and sibling who LOVES her family, enjoys charity work and volunteering, youth group, traveling, sight seeing and history.

Why am I introducing you to Danielle? Why do I consider her a hero?

Danielle's story begins with having some shortness of breath at the end of May, beginning of June. She was diagnosed with pneumonia on June 15,2010, and scheduled for a follow up appt. for the following Monday June 21,2010.

At this appt. is where the concern started as the doctor felt the lung sounds hadn't changed and also having a lump on the right side of the back and sent us to the local hospital for STAT x-rays. Doctors could not tell from the xray if there was residual fluid from the pneumonia or if there was a mass. But blood work confirmed Danielle's family's worst fear... there was a mass.

CT scans also showed that Danielle's right lung was completely flattened to the front of her chest wall because her right pleural cavity (area between the lung and chest wall) was filled with fluid. That being so filled with fluid caused her left lung, her heart etc. to be pushed to the left side. And what caused her shortness of breath wasn't even the fact that she was working with one lung, it was the fact that the pressure was causing her left bronchial tube to be bent (the right one was flattened like her right lung).

The doctors where all amazed when they saw her lab work and CT scans that she was still so 'unaffected' so to speak. Her oxygenation was fine, her color was good, and her shortness of breath was not severe. They attributed that to her condition as an athlete and that left lung was so strong that it was doing the job by itself.  

Danielle was formally diagnosed on June 21, 2010 with Stage 4 Clear Cell Sarcoma. Until this family's crisis, Danielle had promising field hockey career and is still getting recruit inquiries from college coaches. Instead of scheduling those coaches' visits, Danielle received 30 rounds of external radiation and 8 rounds of Chemotherapy. The worst news for Danielle and her family was that her right lung must be removed along with right chest wall. She also had Brachy Therapy (internal radiation beads).

When Danielle first returned home from her initial diagnosis, did she crawl into bed and blame the world for what was happening to her? No, that is not Danielle's style...she decided to do something for someone else.

LOCKS OF LOVE!

When Danielle was so ill from the chemotherapy, Danielle's mom Linda recalls her daughter saying she was so glad this was happening to her and not one of her siblings, " I couldn't handle watching them go through this."

Linda says, "She is the most selfless person I know. She has a very strong faith in God and His plan for her life."

Danielle touches everyone with her sweet spirit! Nurses LOVE her!

In January, the DeLarso family prayed for a miracle as Danielle was to return to the hospital for scans to confirm her cancer had not returned. However, the scans showed return of chest wall tumors, enlarged tumor under diaphragm and tumors in additional places. With not many options available she was sent home to start a daily oral Chemo.

The DeLarso family has been put in touch with hospice care which as you know is a mountainous expense. In these strained economic times this family could use your help.

I have placed a ChipIn widget at the top of the right sidebar for anyone to literally "Chip In" to help this family with their growing expenses. This is a time when their focus needs to be on their family, not the stacks of bills piling on the counter. This is when they need to be planning trips to make special memories, not worried how they will pay for those trips.

Of course, we are INSISTING on a miracle for Danielle's health, but those bills still pile up.

My request and my hope for everyone who comes to read about Danielle is that when you are moved to donate, whether it is $1... $1,000...  or anything in between, whether it is to help fund the GIRLFRIEND Get-A-Way that Linda is planning for Danielle and her friends or to help with medical bills, I would love for you to take a couple minutes and PRAY! On your knees, PRAY! Pray for a miracle. Pray for their family. Pray for Danielle's body.

It is not unheard of for someone to return to a doctor and have them say, "I can't explain this but...you are healed... there is no evidence of your disease." THAT is what we are praying for!

That is why I have called our Chip In fundraiser, Danielle's Miracle! We will see one!

Please forward this blog address to everyone you know would take this to heart. Put a link on your facebook. Tweet, blog, email whatever you do when you have a need... do it for Danielle, for her parents Linda and Joe, for her brother Nick and her sister Sophia! Do it for their FAMILY!

ChipIn goes right to the DeLarso family by way of PayPal. It is a secure way of donating.

When you have that feeling, "I wish there was something I could do..." You can! Don't think of it as, "It's not personal, I want to bake a meal, make a blanket, etc..." Not that those things aren't lovely and I am sure appreciated, but right now, a meal won't help Linda pay for the gas to get her and the girls to their GIRLS WEEKEND destination, it won't touch the medical expenses. It is the most personal gift you can give right now. And pair that gift of money with PRAYER - that's the perfect gift!

Thank you for reading about Danielle. Thank you for praying for her family.

You can follow Danielle's story on her CARINGBRIDGE site. I will also be posting updates and prayer requests as we watch this Miracle in Motion!

Love you DeLarsos!

The "flight" of the butterfly...

I hate to fly.
I hate airplanes.
Those of you who have read my blog for the last few years, you know I took a 35 hour train ride instead of a flight to get to Chicago which would have taken 2 1/2 hours.

But the "flight" I am taking now, I have to say is the most enjoyable of my life.

My inspiration to write this book for teen girls on self-respect has been a ride I know is only beginning but I am anticipating it to be long and thoroughly enjoyable and inspirational.

Self-respect is something that teen girls need to harvest from within themselves. Some teach that you have to earn respect, well, I disagree. I believe we are all born with respect and we have to guard it.

My analogy to a butterfly has become bigger than I had originally assumed it would be. It has become more meaningful to the writing and structure of this book and a group of amazing young women have joined me for the ride.

The Butterfly Girlz is a group of 20+ girls ranging in age from 10-18 from all over the country who will be integral in making this book more authentic than I could. They will be contributing valuable insight that will be life-changing for the girls who will read and journal their way through the finished product.

My vision is to share my insights from this book, stories from the Butterfly Girlz, journalling exercises and above all EMPOWERMENT to girls all over the country. Music, art, writing...it's all a part of the plan.

My favorite part of this vision I have...

shaking the hands of the girls as they leave the room and wishing them well (while praying for each and every one of them).

And that's why I got this yesterday...

and I got it purposely on my right wrist so each girl will see my commitment to this message as we shake hands.

I was thrilled beyond explanation on Friday to receive tweets from Michele Borba, Ph.D., Tricia Goyer and Annie Fox, all commending me on my efforts in this project. Thank you ladies, your work in this field continues to inspire me!

Are you on board? Do you need helpful insight into the world of teen girls? Are you a teacher, a mom, a counsellor, a guardian, a ministry leader? Ask your questions here... obviously I don't know everything, but I will find you an answer, we will help these girls TOGETHER!

Oh, and that silly fear of flying...I am working on that, I won't let that stop me from empowering our girls!

Peace out, Mamas!



Butterfly girlz

...a swarm is forming...

I AM SO EXCITED!
As I wrote this week and worked on my project for TEEN GIRLS, I had an epiphany (LOVE that word!)

What if I created a TEAM of girls who would be my advisors during the writing process? These girls live ON the inside. They are teens NOW! They are a wealth of knowledge that I can't pretend to have. They could contribute their thoughts and feelings and be quoted throughout the book.

Then I thought of what a ripple effect it could have as they will be the first ones processing the information and exercises within my book. They will be "trained" in a sense to carry out the confidence I hope this book provides. They could become mentors within their group of friends...within their schools...within their towns.

I will provide activities and exercises for them to get to know each other so they will become a cohesive group that will inspire each other with positivity!

(OHMYGOSHTHISISSOEXCITING!!!)

So, through a large facebook following of moms from around the country, there is an amazing group of girls forming that will serve as my "butterfly girlz" for this project.

This group is still open but I will have to close it at some point so they can form close friendships with one another as we travel this road of RESPECT together.

Leave me a message with your daughter's name, age and YOUR email address if you are interested in participating in this project- you can also email the info if you would rather michellebrownlow@yahoo.com

So glad to have all of you to share this process with. As always, I am always open to your input!

Peace out, Mamas!

Bring Your Butterflies

Butterflies are a symbol of beautiful metamorphosis.

Isn't this what we hope for our teen girls?

Something beautiful.

You don't have to spend much time at all surfing the web to find that today's girls feel far less than that.
Yeah, they put on a good show but they are crushed, broken and desperate.

What they are most desperate for is self-respect. Sure, they all want love and they think they want it from another person. What they aren't developmentally capable of seeing, though, is that self-respect is directly translated to our heart as LOVE. We can't love someone else unless we love ourselves first. We can't love ourselves unless we respect ourselves. We can't respect ourselves if we continue looking in the wrong places for love. Girls search and search for this love and sadly give themselves away as a means to win someone's love.

They think this other person's "love" will fill the gaping hole they are well-aware is present in their soul. And each time they give themselves away in hope of filling that ache, the hole gets bigger. So they have to look harder but still they are looking OUT instead of IN.

I was inspired today as I sat in Panera with a steaming breadbowl full of tomato soup and my fresh lemon-ed Diet Pepsi.

Self-respect is your God-given right. You have it. But you have to decide to keep it.

It was a part of you as you formed in your mother’s womb. It is yours. But you have to hang onto it or someone can take pieces of it from you. You can get those pieces back but it’s not an easy task.

Self-respect is like a bag of butterflies.

If someone handed you a bag filled with the earth’s most beautiful butterflies and you didn’t guard them to the best of your ability, they would fly away one by one. Sure, you could get them back but it would take a lot of work and a very long time. And you may just choose to make do without them and live with the regret.

I want teen girls to protect that bag of butterflies. I want them to work to keep them in the bag and not let anyone steal with they were given.

Difficult task?
Abso-freakin'-lutely!

But can they do it?
Without a doubt!

Have faith in your teen girls. Help them hang on to their self-respect.

That's the purpose of my book.
And my prayer is to one day be speaking to seas of teen girls as the author of this book. I want to inspire them to "Bring [their] Butterflies!"

Peace out, Mamas!
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