It's almost RESOLUTION time!

So, what will yours be?

Every year since I was 3, I think, I have resolved to get healthy and lose weight. If you have read my blog long enough you have been privy to all of my overzealous plans to get fit.

Well, this year, I MEAN IT! LOL!

I am not a hefty person but I am at a weight that I am uncomfortable being. I need to suck it in a little too much and that can make you lightheaded if you have to do it for too long. It's that weight that makes you feel like parts that shouldn't be are sticking out. When your boobs pop out for your bra when you bend down to pick something up. And with those gosh darned short crotch jeans, your whole backside waves to everyone if you have to bend even a little bit.

It's like a choreographed dance when you are out to impress and you are trying to look skinny when you're really not. Let's face it, no one knows how flabby you are unless you are naked and, I hope, not that many people see you naked.

The dance starts with the PULL AND TUCK. I do this one often...You grab onto the belt loops of your jeans as you stand and hoist them to your throat while trying to tuck in that extra roll as you pull.

Then there's the SUCK IN AND SMOOTH OUT. This step is typically performed in a mirror. You check yourself out, turn sideways, suck it in and readjust underwear, pantyhose and bra until the creases, ridges and rolls have been eradicated. Only attempt this in the Ladies Room, it is not an attractive part of the dance.

And of course we have the SIT TALL AND HOLD IT to round out the evening out. This step gives me gut-wrenching indigestion...but at least I looked thin when I am writhing in pain (before I cut myself out of my pantyhose). While eating, we hear our mother's voice telling us to "sit up straight and stop slouching!" So, we do. And naturally when you do this, your midsection is elongated. You would think this would allow MORE room for food, but somehow the sucking in of the gut makes for tremendous amounts of stabbing pain.

So, in light of this discussion, I WILL ONCE MORE BE RESOLVING TO GET IN SHAPE. I guess if I dust off that Wii Fit my kids got me for Mother's Day and plug my ears when it yells at me for not "stepping on" in about 7 months, maybe I could do this.

Anyone else? Wanna start a revolution? Let me know, maybe we can make a contest out of it!

**Oh, geez, the kids are out of the house...Dr. Phil is coming on....WHERE ARE THOSE FREAKING CHRISTMAS COOKIES??!! What? It's not January 1st yet! I need to get rid of all of the bad food, right? And it would be wasteful to throw it away! My neighbors and friends spent a lot of time on these!**

My Back-to-School Resolutions...

I don't know about you, but when the school bus pulls away that first day of school, although I am sad to see the kids go back, I often liken it to New Year's Day.

Today 2/3 of my brood left on that big yellow bus. Tomorrow the last 1/3 heads off, too.

It's a new chapter. A time for goals to reset (or be thrown under the bus). And I finally find myself re-connecting with ME!

"Well, hello there!"

"Hey. Wow. It's been a long time."

"Yeah. So, how are you?"

"Hangin' in but MAN, you look like DEATH! Did you sleep AT ALL this summer?"

"Nice."

"So, what's your plan of attack today? Where are you going to start? What are you going to clean? Which closet will get organized first?"

"Are you nuts? This is my plan of attack..."

* Drink my coffee while it is still hot!

*Sit still for longer than 3.7 seconds!

*Start a cleaning project and actually FINISH IT!

*Watch finished cleaning project STAY finished for the WHOLE freaking day!

*Use the bathroom ANYTIME I want instead of crossing my legs until naptime!

*Read while using the bathroom...and what I read will not include the words, MONSTER TRUCKS, LIGHTENING McQUEEN or EVERYBODY POOPS!

*Talk on the phone with my feet up instead of making skid marks with my shoes as I chase an uncontrollable child running with scissors around the kitchen and flagrantly saying, "uh huh" and "Ohhh" when I really have no idea WHAT the person on the other end is talking about...who am I kidding, I am usually so distracted once the phone is on my ear, I don't even know WHO is on the other end.

*Take care of myself! This will include morning devotions and some time with God, a long walk (without a trike with a flat tire being dragged behind me) or exercise tape (it will be nice not to kick a small child in the head while doing Tae Bo), eating right and not just stale PB&J crusts and the squishy grapes no one wanted.

It's going to be a good year! I PROMISE MYSELF!

Bus is pulling up. Time to see how their day went! And they get a fully-refreshed, showered, pleasant, relaxed, focussed mom!

What will YOU resolve this school year?

Peace.

Resolution Shmesolution...

So, every year for the past 300, I have vowed to lose weight and get back into shape. I was never a fat kid. My weight problem is more of an eating problem. I make myself fat. I don't have a pre-existing condition that makes me overweight. Unless that condition is way-t00-much-stress-so-I-eat-no-matter-what-my-mood-itis. Nah. Don't think that's in the big Rx book on the doctor's desk. Last year, I chose a WORD to be my resolution. My word was HEALTH. It was to be all-encompassing. HEALTH as far as what I fed ME, HEALTH as far as what I fed my kids, HEALTH as far as keeping my checkbook from puking up all the receipts that I didn't deduct, HEALTH as far as my time...not getting my schedule so congested that it was hocking loogies all over the place, HEALTH as far as my mind...doing something for ME each week...having one SELFISH MAMA day to regenerate....HEALTH as far as...well, you get the picture. It was a good plan and it lasted about a week. I don't think a Big Mac Value Meal and left over chicken nuggets of my 3 kids constitutes HEALTH. I don't think the chicken nuggets offered to my kids is a picture of HEALTH. I don't think the McD's receipts clogging the windpipe of my checkbook looks very HEALTH-like. I don't think a to-do list that could circle Saturn is helping me stick to my word: HEALTH. I don't think going to WalMart alone after my husband comes home from work is what I had in mind for the selfish MAMA DAY! So, I pretty much SUCK at this resolution thing. I need to do all those things but some days I just don't have the energy. Take today for example, my oldest was crying in his bed this morning b/c he couldn't get out of it b/c of a hip hop dance injury that has just hung on and gotten worse over the last two weeks. He is 90+ lbs, can't walk and has to pee! WHAT?! After xrays @ urgent care they determine it is a pulled muscle that will have to heal slowly with the help of cold/hot compresses and some Tylenol w/ codeine. All three kids are still home on break so my toddler who has a bad case of cabin fever is plastering the house with Play Doh while I am trying to get my oldest to "hop and lean" to the bathroom. The dog is still injured and needs to be coddled to get across the linoleum when SHE needs to pee..... I don't need to go on... you get it! You all LIVE it to some extent! We've all been there. So, my resolution? NO FREAKING IDEA!!!! There's a "Betty" (ahem...my good friend Steph from Manic Mommy who BTW is holding an AMAZING virtual BLOOD DRIVE - go check her out!) @ BettyConfidential.com that has decided to go ANTI-resolution! Check her out HERE! You? (I will be posting something that I need your help with later - come back in a couple hours - preferably in between potty breaks- to see what I have brewing!)

What's your WORD?...

My father-in-law had a great sermon on Sunday while we were visiting for the Holiday. I was not in church (heathen) as I was home with a way-too-energetic 2-year old who would never last in a church with no wee-one place-to-go. I am also VERY picky as to where and with whom I leave my children so even if there WAS a wee-one room, unless I saw the volunteers' criminal history print out and background check, I would not be comfortable. Anyway, my point was in what I heard from my husband about the sermon. "The WORD for 2008" Can you sum up all of your resolutions with one word? After dinner tonight we all sat around the table...the youngest of us ran around the table...and talked about many things and we ended on this subject of WORDS. My husband reported that his word was INVEST...He is resolving to invest more money this year to add to our nest egg, to invest in our family with his time, to invest in the people around him with his friendship and to invest in our church with his heart for leadership. I told my sweet family that my word was HEALTH...I will be making healthier choices for myself as well as while doing the shopping, packing of lunches and preparing of meals. This word will also follow through to my banking as I will resolve to keep better track of my transactions and I will be making better choices as far as spending...i.e. less Starbuck's - YOUCHEE! My oldest son determined that his word would be HELP...He has a heart for others and is always so quick to shed a tear for those who are hurting or less fortunate. He is also a very good helper around the house and is resolving to take the initiative to do more without being asked. My good boy! My daughter's word is SAVE...and she does it well! She has chosen to continue her habit of being the frugal gal of the family and sock away money for....ummm....what exactly do 9-year olds save their money for? Actually, the mention of a car and college came up. Did you think about saving for these things when you were 9? Me neither. I gloat! I am so proud of her. My baby, my last born, my out-of-breath two-year old was now riding his trike around the table as we wrapped up our conversation and my husband asked, "What's your word, little buddy?" My newly verbal wee one appropriately yelled, "GO! GO!" That's his word. GO! I would love to hear what your WORD is for 2008! Join our chat about it and leave a comment!