Sanity's Blogtober TIP Parade: 10/03 Time Warp

How is it that the weekend is supposed to be a BREAK from the craziness of the week and yet...

IT IS NOT!

This week blew by, you know, I told you about it in my "HOLY CRUD I HAVE 63 THINGS ON MY FREAKING CALENDAR" post.

When you are busy, life just passes you by. AND I HATE IT! Little moments you would like to remember, but won't because you were too wrapped up in being late for soccer. Something the kids said that made you giggle, but how will you ever jot it down for the baby book while driving to what seems like the 37th parent/teacher/coach/team mom/chaperone meeting in 2 weeks?

For example, I am a HUGE scrapbook fanatic...there is a 9,000 square foot scrapbooking store less than 20 minutes from my house and I can easily drop $100 on supplies, yet I have 4 years worth of photos on my computer that I have never even had printed, let alone scrapped!

I need a time warp!

DID YOU HEAR ME, POWERS THAT BE??!!

I NEED A TIME WARP!

I need a time warp that will stop the earth's rotation just long enough for me to get everything I need to get done for my kids, DONE! And I am not talking about their laundry! I want to preserve their childhood enough so they can look back and almost HEAR their squeals and giggles!

I'm tired of feeling defeated as I plop on the couch at the end of the day to veg out in front of the TV only to be stared down by the THREE unfinished baby books on the shelf of the entertainment center.

I'm tired of kicking myself when I hear something I should write in the THREE "to my kids" journals I have not written in in a couple years.

I'm tired of being too tired to organize my photos. Our FAMILY photos! My legacy for my kids.

The only solution to this is a TIME WARP, I am sure of it!

Unless you have another idea!

Help!

So, you know the drill....as part of Blogtober's TIP PARADE you need to leave your "tip" here and that will link us back to YOUR BLOG where you should let loose of a MOMdilemma in your life and then have your reader's give their 2 cents! Then, invite them to do the same! But, please remember to link back to me!

Peace.

A productive day goes like this...

Well, as an at-home mom (and aspiring author/illustrator) it is easy for me to get distracted and find my husband walking through the door ready for dinner and I have yet to get out of my PJs or clean...ANYTHING including myself!

It's not that I am a big lazy bum, although I don't move that fast in the morning, it's just...well, I guess I have ADD. I don't know. I'm sure you can relate!

My best days start with a list:

Straighten kitchen

Clean bathrooms

Start laundry

Get groceries

Go to bank

Get stamps

Fill out X, Y or Z forms for school, insurance or other entity that feels MY time is less important than THEIRS

Call for appointment, car service or school conference

Email teachers, coaches or editors/agents

Throw dinner in the crock pot

Go through looming pile of papers on my desk

Finish editing latest manuscript

Paint and ink drawings from yesterday

So, you get the idea. Your list items may vary but I am sure it is at least as long as mine with just as many random, un-related things to get done.

But my day typically goes like this:

Make coffee

Get the kiddos on the bus

Start straightening the kitchen and find one of the kids report cards/A+ report/100% homework and run into the office to file it in their file. Man, these files are so thick, I should go through them and weed out the papers I don't need to keep anymore. *sob, sob* Look how sweet his/her handwriting was back then! I think this should go in the scrapbook next to his/her Kindergarten class photo. Where is that scrapbook anyway?

Back out past the kitchen to look for the scrapbook and notice the dishwasher door is still open from when I started an hour ago. Finish putting plates and silverware in from last night's dinner, add last scoop of soap, start.

Add "dishwasher soap" to grocery list and head to pantry to see if there is anything else that needs to be added...wow, that's pretty bare...glad "grocery shopping" is on my list. Wait. Wasn't there a nursery rhyme about cupboards being bare? Yeah. Then there was that book, One of Each, (is that what it was called?) that was a spin on it...is that what it was called? Gotta check amazon.com, this will drive me nuts....

Yep, ONE OF EACH! Love that book! Love Amazon. I wonder if you can search story lines on Amazon...this would be a great place to do some research for stories to re-tell. Re-tellings are quite the rage right now! Search 'Children's Books'. Search 'Children's story themes'. Search 'How to make money at home'. Search .... ok, coffee has kicked in, time for a potty break.

Pick up a writer's magazine on the way into the powder room. Interrupt myself momentarily to quickly go grab a highlighter to make note of the websites for writers and the links for editors looking for new talent. Flush.

Head back to the computer to check out some of these writer's mags new finds...WOAH, I haven't checked my email yet. Open window, Sign in. Speaking of messages, I wonder who's on Facebook this morning? Open window, Sign in. Oh, geez, I need to promote my blog on Twitter. Open window, Sign in. Blog? MY BLOG! How long as it been since I posted? Open window, Sign in. Who was that other Mommy Blogger that wanted me to check out her blog? Open window, Sign in. WHY THE FREAK IS MY COMPUTER SO SLOW THIS MORNING?! Well, while it works out its issues, I can get back to looking for that scrapbook.

Where is it? Living room? Nope. Kids' rooms? Nope. Office? Oh, right I packed it away for that Scrapbooking Retreat I had to cancel out on when the kids got sick. CRAP! Sick kids, I STILL haven't made those well-visits - they are going to call Child Protective Services if I wait any longer. Phone. Phone. WHERE THE FREAK IS THE PHONE? THEEEERE are his gym shorts....behind the Wii? Laundry. Crap the laundry. I wish I had a chute. I. hate. all. these. steps. Like folding laundry isn't enough work.

No detergent? Are you kidding me? Add to the list.

Man. If I don't shower, I will never get to the store and this list is growing. Back. up. the. steps.

Shampoo. Rinse. Repeat. Condition. Shower. Exfoliate. Dry. Lotion. Ick...there is something wrong with the way I look in this mirror. I HAVE to do something about my had-kids-too-long-ago-to-call-it-baby-weight body! Bet there is a magazine at the store that has one of those "I lost 95 lbs while eating cake and not exercising" stories on the cover.

Blush. Ponytail. Jeans. Hoodie. Sexy. BWaaaahhaaaa haaaa! Yeah, right!

Get to store. List. List. Crap, the list is still on the counter! Did I blow out the candle? Well, I will need a new one soon. Candle aisle. Plug-Ins...I bet I could match the scents to the candle. Oh yeah! And they are only $5. Cool. Living room. Hallway. Laundry room. Bedrooms. Bathrooms. Kitchen. Kitchen? I never put that food in the crock pot- it'll never be done in time, need to go grab something to pop in the oven when the kids get off the bus. Meat aisle. Hmmm. I wish I had a recipe. Recipe! I bet there's one in that "I lost 95 lbs while eating cake and not exercising" magazine! Magazine aisle. Got it! Page, page, page...recipe? CRAFTS! Look at those sweet crafts for Fall! Oh, wow! I could send those in for the kids' teachers! Craft aisle. Foam, glue, pipe cleaners, pumpkins? Not here. Back to produce. Produce aisle. Pumpkins. Cool, only $3 each for the cute mini ones! How many? Let's see, German teacher, Spanish teacher, Math teacher (x2), Social Studies teacher (x2), Science teacher (x2), Language Arts teacher (x2), Flute teacher, Art teacher, ladies in the office (x7), gym teacher (x2) and principal. Oh, and preschool teacher (x3). That's a lot of pumpkins. "Oh, HI!" Great, I am never going to get anything done now that SHE has spotted me. Baby aisle. "What would you get for your husband's boss's daughter's friend's baby shower?" she asks. She doesn't like my Fall Pumpkin craft idea. Make excuses and head to register. I think 2 1/2 hours at WalMart is way too many.

$115.00?! For Glade plug-ins and pumpkins. Terrific. I look at my watch. No time to put stuff back and have cashier cancel the sale, the bus will be pulling up any minute. Rush to car. Cell phone rings...THERE'S the phone! Why couldn't I find it earlier when I needed to call..."Hello. Um. No. Yes. On my way." CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! No bus at house. Supposed to pick up kids at school. Gymnastics is tonight.

Dear Hubby will come home to a messy kitchen and no dishwasher powder or crock pot meal Pizza Night, a cluttered messy living room with scrapbooks thrown from corner to corner an awesome-smelling house, a showered wife and an overdrawn checkbook from WalMart trip kids doing pumpkin crafts at the table and a computer that is on the fritz because it is STILL trying to open 37 new windows.

I'd say it was a perfect example of what happens when a side-tracked, too creative, list-forgetting mom decides to be productive productive DAY!

Peace.

School Artwork Part 2

Alrighty, it's abouttime to follow up on the School Artwork assignment. I think I have given you ample time to complete step one. If you haven't or you need a refresher, check out the first School Artwork post.

Now you have your pieces chosen, you may have 10, you may have 20 or 30...any number is fine. The more pieces you have the more work but all the more beautiful in the end, too.

Find a well-lit hallway in your house or an exterior wall lit by sunlight, grab your camera, a roll of tape (painters' tape works the best but any scotch-type tape will work) and your stack of artwork and get ready to capture your child's creative history.

Place a small amount of tape at the top and the bottom of the artwork and adhere it to the wall at eye level. Make sure it is straight. Grab your camera and start clicking...fill the frame evenly with each piece and take a couple photos of each.

Load the photos on your computer and choose the best ones.

Hints for choosing photos:

straight, clear, glare-free

I will give you a couple days to complete assignment 2...check back (or subscribe) to make sure you don't miss Assignment 3...the FINAL assignment.

Have fun!

School Artwork...to keep or NOT to keep?

So, it's the end of the school year and your kids are bringing home papers and projects by the TRUCKLOAD! The spelling tests aren't difficult to toss but those sweet handprint reindeer or the crayon rubbings of fall leaves do the "do I keep it/do I throw it" dance...from the hope chest to the trash and back 100x as you try and decide which to keep and which to toss.

As an art teacher, one of the BIG lessons I learned was taught by a very smart professor when I was doing my undergraduate work. She said, "NEVER let a child see you throw away their artwork!" ANY artwork is a one-of-a-kind, a sort of miracle, something that can never be duplicated, it's a snapshot of sorts into a moment of their childhood that they will never relive and you will never see again. So...no pressure, right? You will just have to build a new wing on your home to house their creations K-12, right? No. I have a simple answer that I will be documenting for the next few posts.

Your FIRST assignment:

Make a stack/fill a box/locate any and all artwork you have saved over the years and go through it to pick your favorites or let your children choose their most memorable or favorite pieces.

If you are having a hard time choosing and if you are like me and you have saved almost EVERYTHING they have painted/drawn/collaged in their school career so far...you can think of a THEME....colors, seasons, objects. Maybe you have 15 pieces that have mostly red as the main color or maybe you have equal numbers of seasonal artwork...Choose a theme if you need to to help you organize your thoughts.

Once you have those pieces chosen, put them in a pile in a safe place. Go to your local super center and purchase an under-the-bed sweater box . Label (with name/grade/teacher) the remaining artwork and place in the sweater box for safe keeping. Repeat for each child.

STAY TUNED....

We will do Step 2 in the next post.

Leave your ideas/questions/comments below and I will be happy to advise!

NOT for the faint of heart...

Renee of Life with My Special Ks was on my mind all morning! LOL! Renee, if you are reading this, take a Valium girlfriend! This is a typical day at my house...and why we don't buy a really nice kitchen table!

Today we had some extra kids in the house and it was really hot outside so I raided my laundry room closet which has been dubbed, "The Art Center." If you know anything about me, you know no matter where I have lived, I have had an art center. Post-children, I now have multiple art centerS. One that has glue sticks and construction paper and a couple that have advertising markers, x-acto knives and paper you can't buy at WalMart.

So, I rummage through the many supply-stuffed totes and I grab the most colorful and plentiful containers, bring them to the table and call to the masses, "CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFT TIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!" And they all came a'running!

I opened some Elmer's glue and squirted a bunch on the paper in front of my 3 year old. He proceeded to take a small bag of beads the size of poppy seeds and .... DUMP! They landed (mostly) on the glue and a gallon a couple fell to the floor. He looked at me like, "Woah, that was so cool!" Can you hear the sound that made? Kind of like one of those rain sticks but not contained in the stick-like structure. (breathe, Renee, breathe!)

About 15 minutes into it, the older kids were ready to call it a day and watch a movie or play. The baby, however, was just getting started!! He started pressing his hands into the glue and then using it as a facial exfoliator. Not too much exfoliation being done when you can move your hands because THEY ARE GLUED TO YOUR FACE! I rinsed his hands with a washcloth but they didn't stay clean for long.

His big trick then was to REMOVE all the things from his artwork, glue them to place them on the table and start all over again. It was kind of like what you would read on the side of one of those pricey Spa Products: Apply generously. Rub in. Rinse. Repeat.

I talked him into being done. Grabbed the vacuum and LICKETY SPLIT...there was no sign on glue, beads, NOTHING!

See! Any one of you can do this! Just take a few "happy pills" first! LOL!

School's out...are they bored, yet?

Alright, so I have this reputation with my friends and it makes me laugh! "If you ask Michelle to watch your kids, they will come home with some kind of art project or stories of their nature hike! It's disgusting!"

My entire life as a mom (please don't take this as bragging - because I am giggling outloud as I type this!) other moms say, "You make me look bad" or "Just stop being so crafty" or "You did WHAT? with your kids today?"

Now, I find this funny because some moms spend their days cleaning and organizing and/or working outside the home. To those moms I say, "You make me look bad!" AND "Just stop being so productive!" AND "You got WHAT? accomplished today?!"

You see, I am not a naturally organized person. I hate to clean (although I CRAVE a clean house!) and I would rather play and paint than do anything else in the world. This personality trait which I blame on being an artist DRIVES MY POOR HUSBAND BONKERS!

My husband is the epitome of organized. If I didn't think he would feel violated, I would post a picture of his side of our walk-in closet...it looks like a department store! My girlfriends sometimes (just to get his goat) will sneak up there and stick a plaid shirt in with the solids or transplant a white pinpoint in between his dress pants. Makes him crazy!

Our children, much to his shagrin, take after me. They hoard everything that ever meant anything to them. "I can't give that away, Daddy. The lady I met when Nana and I went shopping that day Pappy had to go to the doctors gave me that stuffed animal!" They are not very organized. "Mooooooom, can you grab my purple sock while you are upstairs? It is behind my nightstand, next to the plate from my snack, under my 2nd grade year book (she's going into 4th grade!)."

We (hubby and I) have agreed that at 9 & 10, our older kids are plenty capable of becoming more disciplined and having desired behaviors accomplished without having to ask. He sat us them down the other night after dinner and he talked about discipline and what that means. SOMETHING COMING SO NATURALLY THAT YOU DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT DOING IT - IT JUST GETS DONE.

So, he told them they each needed to pick 3 things that they could take responsibility for each and every day. These are not equivalent to chores, these are just common courtesy things that you don't get allowance for...like wiping/rinsing out their bathroom sink every day, keeping their shoes in the mudroom closet, etc. He also told them that it takes 21 days to form a habit and when 30 were up and those disciplines were completed each and every day, he would have a pretty hefty surprise for them. Although it would be the first priviledge taken away when those disciplines fall to the wayside!

All the books you read tell you that kids love boundaries and expectations. I have read it, I know it! But this week, I HAVE SEEN IT! They are feeling so good about themselves because they are being PRODUCTIVE! They are not bored!

Quite honestly, they are motivating me to be more productive, too. Tuesday we lost power from a horrible storm and we were without it for over 18 hours so needless to say, I have some fridge-dumping to do.

So, I figured, while I was emptying the fridge, what better time to rinse out all the drawers, take out shelves and gag at the dog hair stuck to spilled syrup wipe them clean and scoop out all the scattered ice cubes under the freezer drawer.

Even my little man got inside involved!

So, when I was done and the kids had leisurely started their day....(this is where those of you who get mad at me for stepping "outside the box" can click to another site)...

we had a delightful picnic outside...

(btw - this was sooo simple. 2 boxes of crackers, tub of cream cheese, pistachios, canned pineapple, raisins, organic bunny grahams, lemonade, 4 cups, forks and a knife for the cream cheese on a tray. Less prep time than even a grilled cheese! No plates to wash and no mess made!)

their "project o'the day" was to eliminate books that they have grown out of, didn't like or had finished and weren't planning to read again so we can donate them to the local library...

and now we are getting ready to start a naptime craft activity... MY FAVORITE THINGS! We have done this one before and they love it! Here's a look at my last attempt -

they want to out-do their last attempts so they didn't want me to post their "old ones." However I am sure I will have beautiful ones to post later!

So, in my next book I will be giving 365 things to do to make your kids happy, productive and crafty! LOL! Just kidding!

I will be back later to tell you all about my birthday!

Friday's PHOTOS ONLY A MOM WOULD TAKE...

Say, "AHHHHH-rtist!"

(yes, the paint is IN his mouth!)

This was my oldest about 8 years ago!

Who needs 'em...

Saturday morning cartoons? Not at "Chez Brownlow"...We decorate fruit in the early morning light!

Meet Bob Banana and the Clementines!

(notice Bart Banana (far left) got kicked out of the band after a braul during last night's gig)

I think I have COMPLETELY lost it people!

It's been a creative day...

I spent my morning laughing, eating, connecting, relaxing...oh, yeah...and I made these cards! I am one of those moms who never gets a babysitter unless I have an appointment, have to help out at the "big kids'"school or have something scheduled that will not accommodate a cranky two-year old.

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Today, I had a babysitter from 10am-3pm so I could go to an all day STAMPIN' UP party! Just me and the girls! Patsy, Janet, Linda and Mary MADE MY DAY TODAY! Thanks gals!!

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It is such a beautiful thing to complete a sentence without having to clean up a spilled snack, have enough minutes (in a row) to page through a crafty catalog from beginning to end...slowly, TWO TIMES without changing a diaper, to leisurely eat food prepared by someone else that will also be cleaned up by someone else without sharing my lunch, my seat or my mind. .

I was in HEAVEN.

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I then returned home rejuvenated and refreshed.

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The bus came, my two older children bounded in the house, hugged the baby and reminded me that their "Bio Bottles" were due tomorrow.

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We are studying Famous Pennsylvanians this month so their assignment was to turn a 2 liter bottle into a statue of the person they chose to research.

After 3 1/2 hours of hard work, a screaming two-year old, a sad excuse for dinner, three hot-glue burnt fingers and a few do-overs, we welcomed Mary Cassatt (artist) and Ken Griffey, Jr. into our home... .

A little (whole freakin' LOT) more stressful than my morning but well worth it!

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(yes, I was an art teacher...NO, I DIDN'T DO THESE FOR THEM...they are just amazingly talented!!!)